Page 27 of Smoke After Hours

Volley shook his head. “No, their mission failed. I was alive to learn that. Joshua wasn’t.”

Gripping my hand in his, I tried to offer words of comfort. “It was an accident, Volley. You didn’t mean to kill him.”

“But I did, and Jackie D should have killed me for it. That’s how it worked … a life for a life. Blood for blood. The Crownes took pity on me that day, and Jackie D made me an offer I literally couldn’t refuse. Come train with him in Chicago and join Crowne Security. He wanted to keep an eye on me. See what kind of man I was. In exchange for Joshua’s life, I’d be required to fulfill three solo Crowne missions after at least a year of training with a team. LaCross was still locked up and my mom was living with her sister in Connecticut, so I made up some excuse to my family about working with some friends in Chicago at their new nightclub and they didn’t question me about my absence. To date, my mom and brother have no idea what I went through.”

Because he’s been holding it all in, letting his guilt swallow him whole.

“And I was your first solo mission,” I realized, always kind of knowing in the back of my mind that I was.

He nodded, his voice softer when he said, “I never saw you coming, but was glad when I got debriefed on your situation. I told Jackie D that we had met when we were younger, but he hadn’t seemed to care. I didn’t know how long the mission with you would last, but I still owe him two jobs.”

“Haven’t you done other jobs over the years?” I asked, thinking about the times he disappeared, and another temporary guard often popped into my life.

He nodded. “Yes, but any time I’m called on to assist with a group or team mission, it doesn’t count for my solo missions.”

I frowned. “But I’m sure Jackie D never thought protecting me would last this long.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he stated. “It has, and when the time comes, I’ll do what’s expected of me.”

“How long will your other missions be?”

“I’m not sure,” he responded. “But no matter the length, I’ll do what needs to be done.”

I didn’t push on it further, knowing his mind was already made up. Yet, that was one of the qualities I admired about him. He always kept his promises.

“You said he was shot twice more,” I recalled. “He may not have made it anyway.”

“Or he could have,” Volley added. “The Crownes studied the impressions and groves of the bullets that entered Joshua’s body. The bullet from my pistol and another one caused the most damage. The third was in Joshua’s shoulder.”

Goodness.Not only did Volley carry around this extra weight, but I knew him and what type of a man he was. He probably memorized the details of Joshua’s autopsy.

“You’re an amazing man, Volley. Your life is not defined by that one mistake. I know you like control?—”

“Because when I lose control, people get killed,” he interjected. “I told you years ago about the fight I got into at school.”

“You mean the teenage boy who called you names and whatnot because you were taller than the other kids?”

“And bigger too,” he stated. “Plus, I could fight well thanks to LaCross, but I was quiet, and kids often picked on me for that shit. That kid may have started the fight, but I finished it. I lost control that day. I knew I was bigger than him and I should have kept on ignoring the taunting. On his way home after I won the fight, he stumbled into the street because he was in so much pain. He was hit by a car and killed instantly.”

I swallowed back the emotions I felt for Volley, remembering the story he once told me, and aching for him because of the new one he’d just told me about regarding Joshua. Volley didn’t need my tears right now, he needed my words of affirmation.

“V, in life, people will die, and a lot of times, those people didn’t do anything to deserve it. You can’t live your life replaying those moments over and over again, holding yourself accountable for something tragic that happened to a classmate, and a situation that Jackie D and the rest of the Crownes forgave you for years ago. Volls, everyone who meets you is impressed. You have the best work ethic of anyone I know. Any less of a man would have quit securing my bubbly ass years ago, especially when he heard me ramble right before I broke out into song.”

He snorted, the noise like music to my ears because he wanted to laugh at my words. He put up with my rambling, but he despised my singing.

“You know why I stayed,” he mentioned, tearing his eyes away from the view and planting those intensely pretty brownson me. “I may have been great at refraining from acting on my feelings for you, but you’ve always known how I felt.”

“I have.” I smiled before placing a quick kiss on his lips. “Which is precisely why I will remind you how amazing you are until I’m blue in the face. Volley, I hate what you went through with your classmate and with Joshua. And I hate even more that you carry that weight like stones on top of your buried grave. But, V, you’re here. You’re alive. You learned to adapt to the cards you were dealt, and I know Jackie D. He spared you because he saw everything good and pure and loyal that I see reflected in your eyes every time our gazes meet.”

He visibly relaxed, exhaling slowly before dipping his forehead to mine. “I love you, Benz,” he whispered, causing me to pause because although we’d jokingly said we love each other in a friendly kind of way, this was different.

“Say it again,” I requested.

“I love you,” he muttered, repeating the words a few more times after.

“I love you, too, Volley. Always have.”

This time, when we kissed, it was far from a peck, his warm lips searing mine in a delicious kiss filled with so much emotion and understanding that it took my breath away.

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