Page 8 of Grown Folks Confessions: Black Lush

Reaching over to the floor, I dug around for my dress, popping out the condom I brought with me that I’d hidden in the inside pocket I sewed into my dress the day before. I really didn’t understand why more party dresses didn’t have pockets. It was necessary for lip gloss, money, and apparently, condoms too.

“Can I?” I asked, ripping open the condom.

He nodded. “You already know you can.”

My hands were a little shaky as I rolled the condom over his dick, taking in his large size even more now that I knew he would be inside of me soon. Tony’s dick had also been impressive, but not like Ares’. I’d never looked at Tony’s and been overcome with a desire to have him fuck me until I couldn’t walk the next day. Yet with Ares, looking at him lying on the bed, body carved out from days and nights of playing basketball, I couldn’t help but get wetter than I already was.

Leaning up, Ares tucked me underneath his body, my legs spreading on their own accord. Although I had suspected he would be perfect for boosting my confidence, I hadn’t been prepared for the level of sweetness he showed and care he took to make sure I was comfortable.

I wasn’t prepared for the feelings I felt for him, or the way my body responded to his as if it trusted him and him only. We were young, and I wasn’t into fairytales, so I didn’t think for one second Ares and I had something that would go beyond this night in the bedroom. Yet, as he adjusted himself and slowly slid into me inch by inch, I let myself pretend that I really was in a magical place where we did end up together.

His face was strained the deeper he went, huffing about my tightness and filling me to the brink in a way I’d never experienced with Tony.

“Shit, Layla,” he muttered. “You feel so fucking good.”

“You too,” I whispered, overcome with emotion, laced in desire, as we fell into our own rhythm. The closer I got to another orgasm, the more I tried my best to hold it at bay, not ready to feel even more than what I already was.

I should have known my body wouldn’t listen though. Minutes later, I released another orgasm, and Ares followed behind me after, the expressions on both of our faces one of elation, surprise, and satisfaction.

We fell asleep in the room that night, both of us spent from such an erotically beautiful experience. One I hadn’t really thought I’d have in my teens. A part of me worried that I’d never feel anything like it again, but I pushed the thoughts aside.

The next morning came quicker than either of us expected, but Ares slipped out before I woke up, explaining that he had work and leaving me a sweet note that thanked me for sharing the night with him. No jokes. No antics. Just sweet, unexpected words from the pesky boy who’d annoyed me for most my life.

I left for my Chicago internship a week later, only briefly seeing Ares at another party the day before I left. We hugged and shared a secret look as we both partied with our other friends, our eyes stealing glances at each other.

But that was it.

That was how my school year ended.

Chicago turned out to be better than I ever imagined. I experienced a lot new things. Met so many great people. And ended up learning more about myself than I ever imagined, wondering if it was because I’d figured out that I wanted a career in interior design. Or if it had to do with the night I shared with Ares. More than likely, it was a combination of both.

After the best summer of my life, I returned home to hear from my girl, Ivy, that Ares had gotten into a huge fight over the summer with Tony Sanders while he was on the clock at work and had gotten fired. I hadn’t even remembered they worked together at the stadium and was a little surprised that he hadn’t told me himself, but obviously, he hadn’t wanted me to think about it over the summer. Ivy told me that Ares had only punched Tony once and clocked him out good, and Tony cried like a little bitch when he gained consciousness.

It wasn’t anything new that Ares got into a fight, but deep down, I wondered if their fighting had anything to do with me. Ares always said he wasn’t the knight in shining armor type, yet a girl couldn’t help but smile at the fact that in his own way, he was just that.

At least for me he was.

three

Grown Folks Confession #3: Growth is not punching my neighbor for taking my water delivery, but rather, letting my dog shit all over their freshly paved driveway, before trampling over their new garden.

ARES

When junior yearstarted in the fall, I was nervous as hell to see her. Wondering if she’d gotten with that guy she liked and secretly praying that she hadn’t. She texted me over the summer that her internship was going well, but she hadn’t mentioned that night, and for some reason, I hadn’t been able to mention it either.

She emailed me a lot of pictures of her summer. Her at Buckingham Fountain. Her attending the Taste of Chicago. Her on the beach at Lake Michigan with co-workers. My prepaid minutes’ cell phone didn’t allow us to talk too long unless I called her on the house phone, but I did buy a disposable camera and emailed her pics, too. Something I had never done to impress a girl before. Especially when it was so much work getting them printed at Walgreens, then borrowing my aunt’s scanner to email them to myself, and finally send them. The shit took work.

But she was worth it.

Mine weren’t as exciting as hers, but she seemed to like them. One was me hiding in the cut at The Palace to watch the Pistons play. In another, I was helping my dad at his auto shop with my brothers. I even sent her the photo my brother, Theseus, took of me falling asleep in church while the reverend stood over me as the rest of the congregation shot me dirty looks.

That last one was one of her favorites.

Often times, I’d woken up in a sweat in the middle of the night thinking about that time we shared and kicking myself for not taking advantage of the fact that she’d given me the okay to pleasure her ass, yet I’d been so wrapped up in the night, I hadn’t taken her up on that offer.

“Yo, did you hear the news?” Midas asked me just as I was closing my locker.

“Nah, what’s up?” I asked, my eyes following the direction most my classmates were looking as they chatted in the hallway about whatever had caught their interest.

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