Page 33 of Grown Folks Confessions: Black Lush

“So that’s it?” he asked, his eyes studying mine. “After we get the annulment, we’re …” His voice trailed off. And that’s when I noticed the other thing I hadn’t quite been able to decipher in his eyes moments prior.

Relief. Because loving me was as complicated as it had always been.

“That’s it,” I agreed, letting a few tears fall that I promptly wiped away. “I’m sure one day we’ll look on this and laugh about it.”

He didn’t join in on my joke.

Not even a smirk.

I didn’t crack a smile either.

When giving up the man you love, there was nothing funny about the situation. Not one damn thing.

“I guess we need to tell the others everything,” he suggested.

I only nodded, not able to muster anymore words.

I expected us to head right back inside, tell our friends the news, and then one of us to make up an excuse with our friends and leave the party. Yet, that’s not what happened. Instead, we remained silent about our situation and both stayed at the party, sitting at opposite ends of the living room as our friends got into a heated game of Black Card Revoked.

I wasn’t sure why Ares stayed, but for me, I couldn’t bring myself to go because that meant everything we talked about felt more final. Eventually, Ivy and Theseus did pop up and surprise us all.

Little did they know, Ares and I had a few bombs to drop on the group.

“You’re getting an annulment?” Ivy asked, her eyes full of disbelief as she looked from me to Ares.

“And you’re moving to London for a year?” Meeka questioned, arms crossed over her chest. “What will I do without you for a year?”

I feigned a smile. “I’m sure you’ll be fine without me.”

“We won’t,” Cheyanne corrected. “We’re going to miss you so much.”

“That’s not all,” I said, looking to Ares who looked from me to the group, before his eyes landed on his brother who gave him a supportive nod.

“Turns out, I’m going to be a dad,” Ares revealed, clasping his hands together. Everyone’s mouth dropped, their eyes turning to me in utter confusion before he added, “Audrea’s pregnant. She’s a woman I was seeing before Layla and I …” He looked to me, trying to piece together the words and came up short.

Ivy frowned. “Audrea from high school? The same Audrea that works for Black Lush?”

Ares nodded. “Yeah, one and the same. When you reconnected us at that event months ago, we kinda hit it off.”

My gaze briefly dropped to the floor as I contemplated if it could just swallow me whole right now so I didn’t have to see the looks of pity in my friends’ faces.

“So that’s our news,” I blurted, my nerves on edge. “Ares and I won’t be married anymore. I’m moving to London. And Ares is going to be a dad. There, now everyone’s caught up on our shit show.”

The room grew silent, everyone looking as uncomfortable as I felt. It was Issac who suggested everyone get back to playing the game, and I was so damn grateful to him, I almost yelled my gratitude across the room.

It took less than two minutes for me to realize there was no way I could stay at the party now without risking an emotional breakdown, so instead, I escaped to the bathroom to throw some water on my face first before I left.

Two minutes turned into ten, and I still didn’t leave the bathroom.Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.If I cried right now, everyone would be able to see it on my face when I walked out.

“Okay, I’m about to head out,” I announced when I finally exited the bathroom and reached the living room, just to see the guys had gone and only Meeka, Ivy, and Cheyanne remained.

Ivy pulled me into a hug first, and the other two ladies followed, all three of them triggering an emotional mess that I couldn’t control once the dam had broke.

“It’s okay, La,” Ivy coaxed. “Let it out. Just let it all out.”

I wasn’t sure how long they held me as I cried, allowing my heart to break the way it had wanted to since I stepped out of the shower when we were in Phoenix to see that look on Ares face that told me everything was about to change for the worst. I had been ready to tell him so much that morning, but I hadn’t gotten my chance.

I never got to confess that I love him.

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