Page 37 of Carter's #Undoing

“Is anything a coincidence in this world anymore? Do you know Jordyn too?” she asked. “What about my friend Tyler? He works for Malakai too, so I’m guessing you just know everyone.”

I shook my head. “I don’t know Jordyn or Tyler.”

“Not sure I believe you.” She squeezed the bridge of her nose. “Carter, every time we talk it’s a mind fuck. I don’t even know where to start with all this. A part of me is in disbelief that Rodney hates me so much that he’d hire someone to kill me. The other part is still in shock that you’re back after all this time. And now I learn not only are you trying to protect me, but somewhere out there in criminal shooter land, there’s an illegal deal with your alias and Serenity’s name on it with your alias being the hired hitman and Serenity being the target! You do realize on some random tree by the lake in Cranberry Heights are the names Carter and Serenity, right? Childhood sweethearts, and now, whatever the fuck this is. We’re not in a movie, but this feels like a movie. A movie in which I die at the end.”

Shit.She was on the brink of another panic attack. “Why don’t we both sit down on opposite ends of the bed?”

She seemed reluctant, but agreed, opting for the side closest to Colt who was sprawled across most of it.

“Serenity, I promise you, nothing is going to happen to you. I know it’s hard to piece all of this together.”

“No,” she said. “Hard is forcing yourself to go to the gym after you’ve just downed an entire box of pizza and chocolate cake. That shit is hard. Plus, it hurts the mess out of your stomach. This,” she waved her hands around the room, “is another thing entirely.”

“I know,” I told her. “And I wish there was more I could say to make it better, but I promise you, I’m doing everything I can to make sure this bastard never gets close to you.”

Her face softened and we sat in silence for several minutes. “I may regret saying this,” she warned, “but even after reading some of your letters and knowing more about you now than I have since you were forced to leave, my gut is telling me that I can still trust you.”

At her words, I let out a breath I hadn’t known I was holding. “I appreciate that, and I don’t think for a second that telling me that was easy.”

She did something unexpected then. Reaching over Colt, she placed her hand on mine, her warmth meaning more than she realized. “Some of the stuff in your letters brought me to tears, especially since you wouldn’t be in this situation if you weren’t trying to protect me.”

“We can’t know that,” I stated. “Every decision I made was mine to make.”

“Still,” she said. “How are doing with everything? Your time in the military. Your time after. Are you okay?”

Am I okay?That was a question I’d even been too afraid to even ask myself. “I’ll probably never be fully okay,” I replied honestly. “When you give a part of your soul to someone unworthy whose main mission in life is to see you fail, you’re never the same again. Some people just want to see you break.”

Serenity rubbed her thumbs in circles between my pointer finger and thumb. I knew the movement was good for reliving tension and had often found myself doing the same before and after I released a shot on a target.

“He really is the devil,” she said.

“And that’s the thing,” I added, “in an effort to prove the devil wrong, it’s inevitable that you end up doing exactly what they want you to do. I know I’m playing a dangerous game, but people pay top dollar for peace, and even the most malicious criminal can only be on the top of his game for so long.” And I’d be ready when he fell.

We talked a little more before I left her room, my own feelings raw. She needed time to process and I needed time to just … breathe. I headed to my basement, glancing at my security cameras to make sure everything was fine before I took out one of the burner phones.

I dialed his number without hesitation, grateful when he picked up on the third ring.

“Hello?”

I cleared my throat. “Hey, Caden.”

The other line grew quiet, before he repeated, “If I hadn’t seen you recently, I’d think I was dreaming this moment.”

“I know you have so many questions, but I’m calling because I wanted to tell you that I left you a letter under your mattress.”

“I got it,” he said.

My mouth slightly parted. “I didn’t think you’d find it until I called.”

“I didn’t know if you’d ever call, so I was glad to discover it.”

I got quiet, not knowing how to proceed with the conversation considering he’d already gotten my letter.

“It’s okay,” he said. “Believe it or not, that letter answered everything I’d ever wanted to know about you and how you were doing. And for the things left unsaid, it doesn’t matter. If you called because you need to do nothing more than sit on the phone in silence, that’s fine, too.”

I smiled. We used to sit in silence all the time when we were younger, just listening to the nature around us. I took advantage of his offer for a few minutes before I prepared to hang up. Right before the call was disconnected, I heard Caden tell me that he loved me. I returned the sentiment, missing the way it felt to say those words to one of my brothers.

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