Page 29 of Carter's #Undoing

I swallowed. “You really think so?”

“I know so. If you ever want to test a man’s character, threaten the life of the person he cares most about.”

“Carter, I never wanted you to feel like you had to protect me from everything and everyone who tried to hurt me.” Stepping closer to him, I dropped the wood I was holding. “Although I’m grateful for everything you did, I’m so sorry that loving me forced you to miss out on living your life. Required you to leave everyone you know and love.”

He lifted my chin. “Serenity, in case I wasn’t clear to you the other day, I regret a lot of shit I’ve done in my life, but I don’t regret a damn decision I made to keep you safe.”

“But I can see the remorse in your eyes when you look at me sometimes,” I pointed out.

“I wish I’d handled some situations and relationships with my family much differently,” he admitted. “But that look you see in my eyes is the look of a man scared that the opinion he values most in life has changed and will continue to change as she learns all the fucked-up shit he’s done in his life.”

“I’m not judging you anymore,” I told him. “Not since you explained to me why I’m here and that Rodney’s still alive. You’re more like my guardian angel I didn’t know I had. My hero in a way.”

“I’m no hero.” Carter frowned, his voice lower when he said, “Everything I’ve done is not heroic. Some shit may not even make sense to you. But they were my decisions to make and that apprehension you see in my eyes sometimes is because I can’t promise you I’ll never do anything immoral again. Could you handle being with me without knowing all the details that led to a decision I made?”

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly.

“I know you don’t. Not yet anyway.”

I studied his eyes. “You weren’t ready to have to face me just yet, were you? I know you blew up Rodney’s deal, whatever it was, but you didn’t factor in us having to talk the way we are right now, did you?”

“I’m calculated. Precise,” he said, picking back up the ax. “I don’t like surprises, and I made a promise to myself to always be prepared when I realized what I’d gotten myself into sixteen years ago. Some things you can’t prepare for, but I factored in everything.” His eyes briefly dropped to my lips. “My family is protective of you, but you’ve always been mine to defend however I could or deemed fit for the situation. And shit between us has always been explosive. I’m not that same little boy who was afraid to kiss you in his parents’ basement. I’ve just been waiting, giving you time.”

“Giving me time for what?” My voice sounded a little breathless, and the dangerous gleam in his eyes wasn’t helping me calm my breathing.

“Do you have any idea how sexy you looked holding that Glock? I’ve waited sixteen years to get you in my bed again. That shit the other day only curbed my appetite a little. A small reminder of how things used to be.”

“I remember those times, but I thought you weren’t as affected by me like you were in the past.”

He let out a forced laugh. “I’m damaged, Serenity. The things I’ve done. The shit I’ve seen. I’m not unaffected by you. I’m so unhinged with you around, I can barely handle it. My fingers ache to discover curves that I have only seen in my dreams. Feel the weight of your breasts in my palms. Savor the warmth of your pussy surrounding my dick as I fuck you deeper than you’ve ever been fucked before. A reminder that I’m the only nigga who can call your pussy home no matter how many years we’ve been apart.” He leaned down to my ear. “That first orgasm you had on the deck was only a warm-up. A preview of the built-up sexual tension we both have that’s aching to be released. Everybody has an addiction. Mine just happens to be you.”

I practically melted into the dirt on the ground. Why did everything out of his mouth sound so damn perfect when he said it like that? In that deep, throaty voice that made me feel like there was nothing he wasn’t good at. Nothing he wouldn’t do to protect me. To fulfill me. To overwhelm me in the best kind of way because I wasn’t sure I could ever recover from being with him as he’d described.

Our lips grew closer, the pull too strong for me to stand there and not take full advantage of his mouth. Only this time, I knew it was my tongue that pushed past the seams of his mouth, the connection so powerful I couldn’t help but moan. His free arm wrapped around my waist, while the other continued to hold the ax.Only Carter,I thought. Only he could have an ax in one hand, yet make me completely forget about it with the way he was kissing me senseless. That was exactly it. I’d lost all of my good sense because I didn’t care if it was right or wrong. I wanted Carter and I wanted himnow.

Yet, when he pulled back and suddenly stopped the kiss, it caught me off guard. I slightly stumbled, my lips still following behind him. “Uh, did I miss something?”

“We have to finish up here.” He nodded to the wood, his face all business. “Make as many trips as you can, and I’ll be finished soon.”

I cleared my throat, trying my best to gain my composure.How the hell can he talk to me like he did, kiss me like he had, and expect me to snap out of my Carter-lust fog with the snap of his fingers?

Mustering up every shred of dignity I could, I picked up the wood I’d dropped and began making my way to the cabin with Colt right by my side. I went back and forth to the cabin as many times as I could until exhaustion hit me. I stayed inside after the eighth time and fell out on the couch after taking off my muddy shoes.

Colt had a habit of staying on the porch or right in front of it since I hadn’t been comfortable having him roam around, but now, I felt like we’d turned over a new leaf.

“Come on in, Colt,” I encouraged as I opened the front door. He came in waging his tail as if he’d been waiting all day for me to say these words. “That’s a good boy.”

I went back to sit on the couch, and Colt hopped right on it beside me, his weight slightly shifting the piece of furniture.

“Does Carter usually let you on the couch?” I asked when the couch shook once again because of Colt’s excited tail wagging. Of course, he did nothing but look at me with those big, doe eyes.

I started to rub Colt to try and calm him down, proud of myself when it worked like a charm. Before long, he laid on my lap, and although his head was bigger than both my thighs put together, I welcomed the comfort. I’d never been an animal person, but Colt was really starting to grow on me.

By the time Carter walked in, Colt was drifting off to sleep and I was still reliving that panty-dropping kiss outside in the woods with Carter. I must have been so deep in thought, I didn’t even hear him come in.

My heartbeat quickened as I heard the door shut behind him. His eyes roamed over me and Colt on the couch as he kicked off his Tims, then went to the kitchen and washed his hands, giving me a nice view of his defined back. Just like his pecs and abs, his back was scarred, old gashes that made me question when he’d gotten them and how. Yet, they did nothing to inhibit his sex appeal, my mouth drooling as he picked up a cotton towel to dry his hands before carefully placing it back on the railing of the stove.

I couldn’t seem to take my eyes off him as he walked toward me, his steps purposeful, yet easy. “I got it from here, Colt,” he said, rubbing the back of the dog’s ears and motioning for him to get on the floor. I opened my mouth to ask him to explain what he meant, but my words stopped in my throat as Carter grabbed me by the ankles and gently tugged until I was lying on my back, the swift movement causing me to gasp in surprise.

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