Page 20 of Carter's #Undoing

I bit his lip, something I used to never do, and quite honestly, I never had before this. But he must have liked it because he nipped me right back, each of us taking bites out of the other in a way that I was surprised didn’t draw blood. Nothing about our kisses felt sweet. They were raw. Angry even, yet still one of the most passionate experiences I’d ever had.

I started tugging at the band of my pants, and he must have sensed my urgency because we briefly parted for him to help me remove them and my panties. When I woke up this morning, I hadn’t expected any of this to happen. But here I was, naked from the waist down and grinding on Carter, to hell with any consequences.

I thought we were on the same page until he broke our kiss, pinning me with those dangerous-looking eyes right before he pulled me up his body.

“What are you doing?” I asked, my question answered moments later when he scooted down and grabbed both of my thighs, forcing me to sit on his face. All the breath left my lungs as he dipped his tongue into my center like he was a starved man determined to feed his hunger.

My wrists felt weak as I tried to hold myself up, while my knees rubbed against the mat in a way that should have felt uncomfortable, but I didn’t care. I’d take the burn if it meant he’d never remove his face from the place it was currently at.

Carter had licked my pussy before, but he was on an entirely different level with it now. I shamelessly moved my hips, riding his tongue the way I would have if I was on his dick instead. And he didn’t even let up on his grasp on my thighs once.

I hadn’t even realized my eyes were closed until I opened them and moaned into the sky, the only thing above us birds and trees. When he added two fingers and kept his tongue fastened to my clit, I became unglued. I could feel everything in every part of my body, and not long after, I succumbed to a blissful, yet powerfully strong orgasm that rocked me to my core.

I didn’t even know how Carter had gotten from beneath me, but that lopsided grin was back, and those piercing eyes were even darker as he helped me lay back on the mat and wiped the sides of his mouth before licking his fingers.

“There’s that sweetness I remember.”

I giggled as I laid beside him, my mind reverting to that young girl who used to be so infatuated by the boy lying beside her. However, that smile was short lived. As my euphoria wore off, so did the carefree attitude I’d allowed myself to have for the past hour with him.

“Well, this was unexpected,” I blurted, standing to put my underwear and pants back on.

When he noticed I was going to walk inside, he stopped me and grabbed my hand. “Serenity, maybe we should talk about this.”

“That’s how all this started,” I told him. “I do want to talk eventually, because you still have a lot of explaining to do, but I need to be alone right now.”

His eyes studied mine, and I knew he didn’t want to let me go. I pulled my hand free, ignoring the hurt look in his eyes. He felt bad? Well, newsflash, so did I.

I walked into the house holding my head high and my tears back because he wasn’t worth it anymore. I was sure that being with him on the deck doing things we used to do in high school and talking as if nothing had changed was one of the psychological tactics he’d learned in the military. One that was supposed to make me feel more comfortable around him, when nothing made sense.

And while I was truly grateful to feel more at ease, I wasn’t ready to forgive and forget everything just yet. And hell, he hadn’t even asked me to forgive him. In fact, he’d said I could ask him any question and he’d answer it, but I hadn’t.

It’s because you’re scared,my inner voice taunted as I opened the door to my bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. My heart was having a tug-of-war between wanting to be as close to him as possible. To breathe in his earthly smell in the crook of his neck. To kiss his shoulder and taste the salty remnants after a workout. To reacquaint myself with how he’d feel buried deep inside of my core since sex with anyone after Carter had just been subpar.

Kissing him on the deck, then having his tongue explore my inner walls in a way I hadn’t been touched in so damn long had stolen what sanity I had left in my state of mind. I almost forgot we’d been apart for so long. I’d briefly disregarded that the sexy, dark eyes of the man who was liberating my body used to be the best person I knew. And I almost ignored the fact that the last thing I should be doing is getting physical with Carter when he lost the right at any intimacy with me the day he walked out of my life.

To miss him was one thing. However, to actually allow him to stroke my insides, mind and body, wasn’t fair to me. Even with his scar, he may have the face of the man I once loved, but this version of him was still a stranger. A drifter in the woods. He was the man who used to make me smile without saying a word, then one day, introduced me to a level of sadness unlike any despair I’d ever known when he walked away. To forget would only do me an injustice.

---