Page 39 of Children of Anguish and Anarchy

“—he will find you—”

“—there is no place you can run—”

The voices cycling through Zélie’s mind begin to bleed into mine. But the moment before my magic connects, Zélie whips around. Her eyes go wide at the turquoise cloud.

“What’re you doing?” Her nostrils flare. She pushes herself against the cave wall. My magic disappears into thin air. Shame colors my cheeks as I rise to my feet.

“I can help,” I offer. “I want to help—”

“By breaking into my head?” Zélie charges at me like a black-hornedrhinome. She gets so close I feel the heat of her breath. “I don’t care about the Skulls. I will never let you back in.”

Her words hold the weight of all my failures. I feel every single time I’ve betrayed her. If I’d stayed loyal to our plans, would we be in this mess? Would the Skulls have ever had a chance to attack our homeland?

Bring her home.I turn away.That’s all I can expect.She’ll never look at me the way she once did.

I can’t expect her to ever give me another chance.

But the dreamscape we once shared fills my mind. Our connection, beyond space, beyond time. I tumble through the memories of when she was mine. The way her bare skin felt in my arms. The gentle touch of her soft lips against my own. There’s nothing I wouldn’t give to return to the blowing reeds now. To be with her in the world of my dreams, far beyond King Baldyr’s reach.

“You don’t have to let me in.” I choose my words with care, trying to find a crack. I can’t protect her if she won’t tell me what we’re really up against. “But you can’t shut me out. Not now. Something’s happening to you, Zélie. I can see it. Ifeelit.”

Zélie opens her mouth to speak, but the words don’t come out. She glances down at the hexagon-shaped compass hooked to her belt. Even without my magic, the wave of terror that rises in her rises through me as well.

“Let me in.” I dare to step forward. “Whatever you know, help me understand. You’re not alone in this fight. I’m prepared to stay by your side—”

“You’re dead to me.” Zélie comes alive. Her words cut like knives. “You were supposed to die that night in Lagos. You might as well be dead now!”

“You really want me dead?” I rip the dagger from my own belt and force it into her palms. Zélie’s brows furrow as I wrap her fingers around the hilt.

“What’re you doing?”

“Giving you exactly what you want.” I raise her hand to my neck, lifting my chin to expose the flesh. “You want me dead? Go ahead.”

Zélie’s eyes flash. A slight tremble rocks her hand. With one swipe, she could slit my throat. I’d bleed out on the cave floor. No one would ever know.

“What’re you waiting for?” I whisper. I release her shaking wrist. Tears brim in her eyes, at war with the hatred I feel burning deep inside.

With a cry, she shoves me back. She throws the dagger to the floor. Before I can touch her shoulder, Zélie takes off. She exits the cave, disappearing into the rain.

“Zélie!”

Though every muscle in my body aches, I push myself beyond the pain. I throw myself after her, sprinting from the cave.

Zélie runs like a gazelle. Lightning flashes against her dark limbs. The sky seems to crackle with her every step. She races through the jungle, fighting through the howling winds.

“Zélie, wait!” I call out her name. The storm swallows my every shout. I spot a cliff before she can stop. I reach for Zélie as she careens over the edge.

Her body rolls through thick vines and large green ferns, twisting all the way down the steep incline. She comes to a stop at the bank of the waterfall. I follow after her, meeting her in the mud.

“Are you alright?” I extend my hand as her wrap falls away. Zélie grasps the wool fabric to her chest, but not before I see the tarnished gold fused into her rib cage.

“What in the skies…”

Zélie shuts her eyes. She doesn’t fight me as I approach. I peel her wrap back with care. The sight of the ancient medallion welded into her chest turns my body to stone.

“Who did this to you?” I breathe.

Tears stream down Zélie’s heart-shaped face. “King Baldyr,” she finally whispers.

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