Page 142 of Children of Blood and Bone

In the dreamscape, Zélie’s heartbreak hits me with unbearable force. Ilorin was her happiness. And I burned it to the ground.

“I’m sorry.” The words fight their way out. I hate myself even more as they ring. They sound so inadequate. Weak in the face of her pain. “I know I can’t fix it. I can’t change what I’ve done, but… I can rebuild Ilorin. When this is over, it’ll be the first thing I do.”

Zélie releases a brittle laugh. Dry. Devoid of all joy.

“Keep saying naive things like that. You’ll only prove Tzain right.”

“What do you mean?” I ask. “What does he think?”

“That when this is over, one of us will be dead. He’s scared it’ll be me.”

CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE

ZÉLIE

IDON’T KNOWwhy I’m here.

I don’t know why I baited Inan to jump in.

I don’t know why something in me flutters each time he swims near.

This is temporary, I remind myself.This isn’t even real.When this is over, Inan won’t be wearing kaftans. He won’t be welcoming me into the dreamscape.

I try to picture the feral warrior I know, the little prince who came at me with his sword. But instead, I see the blade that freed me from the masks’ net. I see him standing up to Kwame’s flames.

He has a good heart.Amari’s words from so long ago play inside my head. I thought she was in denial. But did she see the parts of him I couldn’t?

“Zélie, I would never hurt you.” He shakes his head and grimaces. “Not after all I’ve seen.”

When he lifts his eyes to mine, the truth leaks through. I can’t believe I didn’t realize it before. The guilt and pity he’s been carrying…Gods.

He must’ve seen everything.

“I thought my father didn’t have a choice. I was always taught that hedid what he did to keep Orïsha safe. But after seeing your memories…” His voice trails off. “No child should have to live through that.”

I turn back to the ripples in the lake, not knowing what to say. To feel. He’s seen the worst parts of me. Parts I never thought I could share.

“My father was wrong.” Inan speaks so quietly the waterfall nearly drowns him out. “Maybe I should have realized it earlier, but the only thing I can do now is try to make those wrongs right.”

Don’t believe him, I warn myself.He’s living in a fantasy, a dream.But with each promise he makes, my heart swells, secretly hoping even one of them holds truth. When Inan looks up at me, I see a hint of the optimism that’s always shining in Amari’s eyes. Despite everything, he’s determined to do this.

He really wants Orïsha to change.

If Sky Mother brought the scroll to you through a descendant of Saran’s blood, her will is clear.Lekan’s words echo through my head as I stare at Inan, entranced by his strong jaw, the stubble lining his chin. If one descendant of Saran’s blood is supposed to help me, could the gods want Inan to rule and change the guard? Is that what we’re doing here? Why they gifted him this magic?

Inan floats closer and my heartbeat spikes. I should swim away. But I stay still, cemented in place.

“I don’t want anyone else to die,” he whispers. “I can’t take any more blood on my family’s hands.”

Pretty lies.That’s all this is. But if they’re just pretty lies, why can’t I swim away?

My gods, is he even wearing clothes?My eyes comb over his broad chest, the curves of each muscle. But before I catch sight of anything under the water, I jerk my eyes up. What in Sky Mother’s name am I doing?

I force myself to swim through the waterfall until my back restsagainst the cliff’s edge. This is absurd. Why did I let him bring me here?

I hope the pounding water will keep Inan on the other side, but within moments, he swims through the cascading water to join me.

Go.I order my legs to kick, but I’m ensnared by the soft smile on his lips.

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