Page 151 of Children of Blood and Bone

“Someone died,” I say quietly. “Someone I loved.”

She pulls back and looks up, tears brimming in her eyes. “That’s why you’re so afraid of your magic?”

I nod. The guilt of Kaea’s death twists a knife inside me. “I didn’t want anyone else to get hurt.”

Zélie leans back into my chest and releases a heavy breath. “I don’t know what to do.”

“About?”

“Magic.”

My eyes go wide. Of all the things I imagined, I never thought I’d hear this doubt come from her mouth.

“This is what I want.” Zélie waves a hand at the bliss of the festival. “This is everything I’ve been fighting for, but when I think of what happened…” Her voice trails off. Tzain’s bleeding shoulder fills her mind. “These people are good. Their hearts are pure. But what will happen if I bring magic back and the wrong maji tries to take control?”

The fear is so familiar, it feels like my own. Yet somehow it’s not nearly as strong as before. Even when I think back to Kwame in flames,the first image that comes to my mind is how they sputtered out when Zulaikha instructed him to stop.

Zélie opens her mouth to continue, but no words come out. I gaze at the fullness of her lips. I stare a bit too long when she bites them.

“It’s so unfair,” she sighs.

I look down at her. It’s hard to believe we’re both awake. How many times have I wanted to hold her like this? To have her hold me back?

“You just get to dance around in my mind while I have no idea what’s going on in yours.”

“You really want to know?”

“Of course I want to know! Do you realize how embarrassing it is to have no con—”

I push her against the bark of the tree. My mouth presses against her neck. She gasps as I run my hands up her back. A small moan escapes her lips.

“This,” I whisper. My mouth brushes her skin with each word. “This is what I’m thinking. This is what’s going through my head.”

“Inan,” she breathes, voice ragged. Her fingers dig into my back, pulling me closer. Everything in me wants her. Wants this. All the time.

With that desire, everything becomes clear. It all begins to make sense.

We don’t need to fear magic.

We only need each other.

CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE

ZÉLIE

YOU CAN’T.

You can’t.

You can’t.

No matter how many times I repeat these words, my desire rages like a ryder out of control.

Tzain will kill us if he finds out. But even as this thought runs through my head, my nails dig into Inan’s back. I pull him into me, pressing until I can feel the hard lines of his body. I want to feel more. I want to feelhim.

“Come back to Lagos with me.”

I force my eyes open, unsure whether I’ve heard him correctly. “What?”

---