Page 145 of Children of Blood and Bone

“It’s gotten so curly,” she says, pinning one of my coils back.

“I think it’s the magic. Mama’s hair used to be like this.”

“It suits you. I’m not even done and you look stunning.”

My cheeks flush, and I gaze at the silk kaftan she’s forced me into. Its purple pattern twists with vibrant yellows and deep blues; it shinesbright against my dark skin. I finger the beaded neckline, wishing Amari would take it back to whoever lent it to her. I can’t remember the last time I wore a dress; I feel naked without fabric covering my legs.

“You don’t like it?” Amari asks.

“It doesn’t matter,” I sigh. “I don’t care what I wear, I just want to get tonight over with.”

“Did something happen?” Amari pries delicately. “This morning you couldn’t wait. Now Zu tells me you don’t want to share the scroll?”

I press my lips tight and grip the fabric of my kaftan. The way the smile dropped off Zu’s face filled me with a different kind of shame. All these people looking to me to lead them, yet I can’t even keep my own magic in check.

And not just my magic…

The memory of Kwame’s inferno rages so hot, my skin prickles at the imagined heat. I convinced myself I had nothing to fear, but now fear is all I feel. What if Zu couldn’t control him? What if she had never arrived? If Kwame hadn’t stopped his flames, I wouldn’t even be here.

“It’s not the right time,” I finally say. “The solstice is only four days away—”

“So why not give these divîners their powers back now?” Amari’s hold on my hair tightens. “Please, Zélie, talk to me. I want to understand.”

I hug my knees to my chest and close my eyes, almost smiling at Amari’s words. I remember the days when the sight of magic made her flinch. Now it’s her fighting for it as I cower.

I try to will away memories of Tzain’s face, the coldest look I could ever get. I recognized the terror in his eyes. When Kwame touched the sunstone and ignited, I looked at him the same way.

“Is it because of Inan?” Amari presses when I stay silent. “Are you afraid of what he’ll do?”

“Inan isn’t the problem.” At least notthisproblem.

Amari pauses, releasing my hair to kneel at my side. With her back straight and shoulders squared, she looks like the true princess she is, regal in a borrowed golden dress.

“What happened while Tzain and I were gone?”

Though my heart skips a beat, I keep my face blank. “I already told you—we teamed up to get you both back.”

“Zélie, please, I need you to be honest. I love my brother, I do. But I have never seen this side of him.”

“What side is that?”

“Going against my father. Fightingforthe maji? Something happened to him, and I know it has to do with you.”

She looks at me with knowing eyes, and my ears burn. I think about the dreamscape, the moment our lips almost touched.

“He learned.” I shrug. “He saw what your father’s done, what his guards are doing now. He wants to find a way to make things right.”

Amari crosses her arms and arches her brow. “You must think I’m blind or stupid, and you know I’m not blind.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about—”

“Zélie, hestaresat you. He smiles like—skies, I don’t even know. I have never seen him smile the way he smiles with you.” I look at the ground and she grabs my chin, forcing me to meet her eyes. “I want you to be happy, Zél. More than you realize. But I know my brother.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Amari pauses, pinning another coil back. “Either he’s about to betray us or something else is taking place.”

I wrench my chin out of her grasp and turn toward the floor. Guilt seeps through every part of my body.

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