Page 60 of Flying

The movie and snack marathon, the snuggles, the periodic breaks to stretch and walk Pete, or to christen the new couch, were perfect.

This isn’t the right day, no. There will be the right day to tell her about Grant. It just hasn’t happened yet.

forty-two

Lily

Last Saturday in April | Day Before Stef’s Shower

I arriveto the town square and see that two peacocks are on a dais with Jim Kelly, Prudence, and Anna Lucia Salvatore. They bang a gavel and I realize that I have somehow made my way into a town meeting. I’m ushered by my friends towards a folding chair in the line up, and told toshhhby a chorus of town folks around us. Is this a planned meeting or an ambush?

Jim’s first order of business is the annual Peacock auction, where one lucky donor is allowed to name the pair of peacocks that mingle with visitors in the square.

Knocking the gavel against the podium for emphasis, Jim shouts for bids, “Do I have $25 to open the bidding? Twenty-five American dollars?”

Pointing with the gavel’s head facing towards himself, giving the impression of a magic wand or a conductor leading a symphony, Jim brings the bids from $25 to $250. Sold to our dear friend Seth.

Never one to miss an opportunity to provide a lesson to everyone, he steps up to the microphone and in his grumbling tone says, “Pages Bookstore wants to thank you for continuing to support the the American Dream on behalf of us small business owners, byintroducing Daisy and Gatsby the peacocks. I hope the glitz and the glamour we set on the loose today will bring prosperity and not wreak havoc on this town like our choices last year, Sid and Nancy. Truly, that was our mistake for thinking that there would be an appreciation for punk rock in town.”

Jim takes back the podium, “Alright, that was, well.” Hesitating he goes with, “Thanks, and welcome to Daisy and Gatsby.”

The crowd claps and he eggs them on to grow louder. Yes, we knowcockimplies male, he loves to name these birds for a dark historical or literary namesake. It’s his main contribution to the fundraisers in town each year.

“Ah, wonderful.” Jim claps. “I would like to bring to the floor the recent re-addition to our town, we’d like to welcome back Miss Lily Long, formerly Mrs. Lily Morgan. Can we have a round of applause for this wonderful opportunity?” The crowd claps politely but far less enthusiastic, faces hardening around me.

“Alrighty. So, as we know, Lily was a wonderful member of our town community for a number of years. Her family are upstanding members of the community, but Belinda and Neal forwarded an apology that they can’t join us today. They have sent in their information by proxy, and Anna Lucia Salvatore will be reading their statements when this portion of the proceedings arrive.”

Looking around the square for any sane person I can think of, I see nobody. Nessa, Stef, and Delia are off fixing decor for later this weekend inside the gazebo, while doing a poor job of pretending they aren’t listening and avoiding looking at me.

Seth had stormed back to the store immediately after this. I don’t see Lee, was he out of town this weekend?

What’s going on with them that they just abandoned ship?

Where the hell is River? He would have warned me.Shouldn’t he have warned me?

I start to hear the blood rush into my ears, and my head is spinning when suddenly my hand feels fingers interlacing with mine. A tight squeeze and I know instinctively it's him. I thought I was seeing spots but the blurry black dots merge together into the familiar T-shirt logo.

“River,” I nervously whisper.

“Darling, I’m here,” he assures me.

As each person speaks, he holds me tighter. With each additional statement the opinions grow more wild and outrageous.I was a teen bride, coerced by my parents to marry and skip college before being cheated on!My brain can’t stop the rage-filled replies from circling inside me.

I know words are being spoken, but all I hear is a ringing noise. Anger, shame, embarrassment grow into resentment. The confidence that I’m worthy of a little bit of kindness is rising in me.

Before I know it, I’ve exploded in the most unbelievable fashion, I’m on my feet and shouting, “Enough!”

I storm to the front of the audience, pulling River so hard along with me he can’t drop my hand until we’re standing in the center of attention. We release hands and he slinks back to the front row, someone adjusting their seats for him to join in.

Ten years of pent up disappointment releases. “This is enough. Please, I beg you. I waited a decade to come back. I know what was said, what you think of me. I know that nobody thought of me; not my parents, my so-called husband, and none of you. You watched in the wings as I was pushed far too young into something I couldn’t understand, and then watched me disappear without a concern. Except for the few people who have made themselves scarce, afraid of your thoughts on them I presume. Too many times have I wondered what would happen if I wanted to be home. Here is what’s going to happen, Jim, I’m going to do this. But not until Stef is allowed to have her day.”

Leaning in to what River said about my impassioned speeches and the kindness I give others, I turn today back to the only person it should be on.

“She,” I point towards the three women in the gazebo, “is the best thing to most of your children. Stef dedicated years to learning how to make education accessible to every kid. You can’t be a town who loves quirkiness without loving your quirkiest kids, and you do!” I stare across the crowd hard.

“Do you know why you do it so well? It is her work for your schools. So, can wepleaseput this conversation on hold untilherday is over? Just because I am the Evil Queen Wicked Witch of the West in Grant and Landan’s story doesnotmean that I don’t haveanyfeelings. I don’t have to be the bad guy in every story. Please. Let Stef get the attention she’s earned. Please,” I implore.

I step away, and River follows after me pulling me into a huge hug. I feel the weight increasing, and realize Stef, Nessa, and Delia have piled on. A few moments later the pile squish gets even more forceful and I hear that familiar resonance of male voices, and Seth and Lee have pulled themselves around us as well.

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