Page 10 of Flying

Blow me

Lee:

You’re not my type. Speaking of adorable and feisty Filipina girls – yes, Stef knew you’d *maybe* be here for her birthday dinner. I’m hoping she’s not suspicious but I think that ship sailed.

Lee:

River. Need anything on site to help prep for later? Last night you said we’re good but checking in…

River:

Beyond good to go. Just worry about what you are going to say. Don’t lose the ring.

I feel my phone vibrate again. This time Lee sends me a side question:

Lee:

Are you still crushing on blaze? My dude…

Shaking my head, I ignore the fact that blaze is a clever nickname. There’s the most obvious, Lily’s effigy to Grant when their relationship ended, plus the whole pot farm thing. Trying to distract her, I drop my voice to a low whisper.

“Psst. Lil.” I lean into her space, a little bolder knowing she finds me as attractive as I find her. A man can hope, right? “So, there is one thing I’ve wanted to ask you for a while that I didn’t know how to ask over text.”

Her eyes are like saucers as she waits, her muscles tense, and she seems to be holding her breath. I go to speak quickly so she can relax, “The rumor about the farm?” I let out a sly smile and peer over at her with glee.

“True. Next rumor?” she snaps in reply.

“Umm, are those heiresses really paying for you to travel with them?”

“Also true, it’s like they want me to be their pseudo-friend, but I’m really there to lead workouts and smack treats out of their hands. Ooh, the coffee cake. Is the blueberry coffee cake the same?” She switches topics mid thought.

“Yep, want a piece?” I offer.

“More coffee too please. All the coffee. I’ll take coffee in any form you can bring it,” she implores me. I slide out of my chair, and she pulls a well worn novel out of her bag and swaps the menu for it, hoping to hide still.

I can’t help but be a little sad that the girl in her live-streamed workouts is burning up with passion, particularly when she dives into following your inner voice and the importance of building community. Two things I’m not sure she is doing despite their central place in her messaging. I wish she could offer herself the same kindness she gives to others, it would be nice for her to see what I do. Lily’s so focused on a handful of folks who are financially tied to the Morgan’s real estate portfolio and political donations as the overall opinions that matter. But in reality, they aren’t actually the whole town.

Lily spent so much time envious of the friendship between Landan and her young mother, Stacie, that Grant’s infidelity was a double whammy. But what she missed, from those days when Grant was part of our circle, was how Landan has only her mother. Her mother, and Grant. Landan’s world is small, and while small quality worlds are good, Lily has access to something Landan can never achieve. She has us; three crazy found sisters, and brothers out of Seth and Lee. I’ll be her brother figure if I must, but my feelings are far beyond friendly. As I re-approach our table she looks at me like a scared kitten.

“Your phone keeps buzzing and I don’t want to know, but I’m curious. Are they still talking about me?” she hisses.

Returning to the table I place our food and drink down before reaching for her hand. I hesitate before I can make contact and instead pick up the salt shaker. “Don’t be salty, I have other friends.” Her resulting laugh is full-throated and that settles it, I have to make her laugh, always. Forever.

I turn on the charm hoping my winning smile distracts her fromthe light tease. Lily should see herself through my eyes. There is just a mountain of admiration. She swallows thickly, blinking away tears from her expressive chocolate-brown eyes.

Unfortunately, my jokes only get worse. She’s clearly hoping to disappear as her chin lowers. By squirming in her seat she looks younger. It’s like looking at the shy girl from elementary school.

Does she realize yet that the town businesses have started to transition hands? I wonder if now, with our group as the adults and business owners of the town, she could relax more and see what she used to love here. All the people she still loves here. Things have shifted for Grant and Landan. Sure, the Morgan’s portfolio of real estate keeps them close to the Kelly family when it comes time for campaign donations. However, the list ends there.

We used to ignore Grant being a hot-head, we were teen boys. First it was his affair. Next, we watched years of on-and-off with Landan. Once they eloped, Grant and Landan took over managing the Morgan Portfolio of properties. They have the Kelly family approval, and that's all it takes to be back in the good graces. At least for business purposes, but his toxic behavior has created more distrust. Lily thinks she took the fall because of one town meeting ten years ago. Fleeing the state with her tail between her legs didn’t actually make his ongoing presence an advantage. She just needs to see it herself.

Tenyearsago I had a front-row seat to the ways Lily didn’t see herself clearly. I was attending the local community college, thanks to my mediocre grades, and working alongside Dad at the bar. Learning the business was so much more exciting than sitting in a classroom that I threw everything I had into it. Plus, I wanted desperately to regain his full trust. Maintaining theeldest Hendrix is named George and runs The Featherweighttradition is important to us both, I just wish he could see that. Elizabeth, my mama, would take the tradition of using middle names to a new place with her choices for myself and my younger brothers who go by Leaf and Scout. However, as George River Hendrix—this is where I am meant to be.

From behind the bar, I learned to become a central piece of the Peacock Springs community without involving myself personally. Listening, engaging, learning from every new party to grace our tables. In those days, Lily and I would hang out during the day between the lunch rush and the happy hour crowd arriving while I cleaned up. Sometimes, she would look at my coursework and complete assignments out of her own boredom.

Most often, we’d just talk about everything and nothing. She always respected the idea of her marriage enough to keep things close, but then there would be these flashes of fire. She’d shared enough about the sacrifices she made—following her mom’s advice to delay school for Grant’s ego—that I knew her frustrations were being overlooked. Worse, his verbal abuse was either ignored or excused by everyone around them. At Belinda’s urging, she took up those traditional homemaker duties, despite being a messy person who had a hard time learning to cook.

I have not been able to let go of my feelings of anger for ‘Beef Wellington Day’ from that year. I watched her go back and forth across the square from the condo to the butcher over and over. Must have counted a minimum of six trips before I joined in. I made excuses to eavesdrop: run a delivery, pick up something from Pru, any reason to try to catch her and get details. Finally, I followed her in and lingered around the shop. I was possessed. I had to find out what in the world she was doing. The answer broke my heart.

---