Page 123 of F*ck It Out With A Devil

“Who the heck is that coming into my house unannounced?” Aunt Josie calls out.

“Now, Auntie, who the heck would just waltz in unless they had a key?”

“Well, what if your keys were stolen? Then my comment would apply.” She huffs at me with a smile.

“Only you, Aunt Josie.” I laugh. “Where is Gaia?””In her room, but if I were you, I’d leave her be. Just until she cools down a little more.”

“Why is she so upset?” I whisper, but when I turn and look at Aunt Josie, she has a scowl plastered to her face. “What aren’t you guys telling me?”

“Nothing, dear. On second thought, go in and see her. Maybe that’s all she really needs to get out of that little funk she’s in and get over the fact that you forgot about us both.”

“Oh, so you, too? Wow, this day just keeps getting better and better.” I mumble.

“Better start turning it around then, can’t have two stubborn asses moping around instead of settling their differences. Get on in there and fix what needs fixin’.” She says, ushering me inside. “Hurry up, I don’t know how much more my ears can take from hearing how much of a grade-A bitch you are.” She laughs.

I turn around and give her a death stare that would surely bring any child down, shivering in fear while crying ugly tears, but with Aunt Josie, she gives me a wave of her hand. Not only does she give me the hand, she closes the door and turns her back on me. I swear I don’t know how to deal with that woman.

Making my way to the staircase that I can remember running up and down countless times as a kid, I take the stairs at a very slow pace. I’m trying to prolong this confrontation as long as possible, but all it’s really doing is putting a Band-Aid on the wound that is our friendship.

I make it to the top of the landing and walk the few steps it takes to get to Gaia’s room, when I stop. Not because I’m afraid of what’s about to happen, but because I hear voices.

“I know I shouldn’t have such a nasty attitude with her, but imagine how she would feel if I turned around and did the same thing to her that she did to me. I’m sure none of it is intentional, but sheesh, throw me a frickin’ bone here.” She giggles, because that’sourline we use from Austin Powers International Man of Mystery.

That’s it, I have to know who’s on the other end of that phone call, so I burst in there ready to go bat-shit crazy on whoever it may be. But when I open the door, I notice nobody is there.

“Are you having a full conversation with yourself here, G?”

“Why do you care?”

“Well, for two reasons. One, because I know I was wrong, and I’ll make it up to you. Two, because that’s just crazy and will land your ass right in the nutter.””At least I didn’t answer myself.” She’s not looking at me when she says this which means she was on the verge of doing just that when I barged in.

“Right, but something tells me if I didn’t walk in when I did, you would have answered yourself.” She eyes me for a second and then shakes her head as if I have some imaginary hold on her.

“Doesn’t matter, what do you want?”

“To say, I’m sorry.”

“You can keep it.”

“Dammit, G, don’t do this to me when I need you.” I whine.

“Need me? Need…Me?Oh, sonow,you need me.”

“I’ll always need you.” I whisper, throwing my hands across my face and bearing my soul to her. “Oh, G, what am I going to do?” I can tell some of the ice has melted around her little heart, because she comes over to me in a split second, pulling my hands down from my face.

“What is it, Athens? Don’t think this will change anything, I just want to know who else’s ass I need to kick for messing with my best fran.”

“Don’t make me laugh, my life is turning to shit, and it’s hardly anything to laugh about.” I confess.

“Nothing, and I do mean nothing can be that bad.” Oh, but she’s about to be in for a rude awakening.

“I’m having dirty, wild, and crazy sex with my soon to be step-son andtwoof his best friends.”

“Two of his friends? How many does he have?” She asks, clutching her imaginary pearls.

“G, focus!”

“I am trying to focus. I need to know how many friends he has, are they available, how is the sex, what is your next move?”

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