Page 43 of Jordan

Joani's eyes flashed with anger. "And you don't know how hard it is for me! I'm not your toy, Harry. I'm done."

A silence fell between them, heavy and charged. Joani turned away from him, her heart pounding. She needed to be strong, to stand her ground. But she couldn't, dammit, she wanted to feel his hands on her. It was pathetic how needy she was.

She had spent the last two weeks swearing that when he came running, she would boot him out. It did not matter that he was the one who owns the place. She was done with being used.

"That's a mistake." His voice had taken on that autocratic tone she hated, and his face had gone cold. "You need to remember who is paying for everything." He gestured to the silk robe; she had thrown on over her nakedness. "I paid for that."

"Go to hell."

He ran a weary hand at the back of his neck. "I am already there. I come here for comfort, to get away from the strain of my home and the job. Please don't make me regret extending certain privileges towards you."

She stared at him in stunned silence before bursting out laughing. She laughed so hard; she had to lean against the counter and press her hand on her middle. Tears dribbled from her eyes and she actually felt the anger draining away.

"What's so amusing?" he snapped.

"You jackass. You pompous bigoted jackass." She gasped. Lifting a hand, she swiped at the tears. "You actually think it's a privilege to be with you. Why? Because you're white and entitled and have money coming out of your pores? I know my self-worth, believe it or not and I am beginning to respect that son of yours. He stepped out of that 'privileged' white circle and married himself a black woman. He has more balls than you will ever have."

A dark flush stained his face and his eyes glittered.

"Watch your mouth."

She straightened. "Or what? You'll send me to the back of the bus where I belong? You go down on me for Christ's sake. Told me with your own mouth that my come tastes like honey. Haveyour tongue so deep inside me, I can feel it all the way to my womb--" her breath hitched. "I love you. Have loved you for years and the only thing you ever felt for me is nothing more than a hole to dip your wick. Your precious wife--" She stopped when he took several steps towards her. "What? Are you going to slap me for mentioning her?" Her eyes were bright with tears, her heart heavy. She felt the ache deep in her bones. She had wasted her time loving this man and he didn't even care. What the hell did she expect?

"Look, I didn't mean to--"

"Point out the color of my skin?" She sat on the stool heavily. "I'm so tired."

When he came and put his arms around her, she let him. She gave into the weakness, all the while plotting what she was going to do.

Chapter 12

Caleb kicked back in the chaise and sipped beer, all the while watching as his sister paced from one end of his balcony to the other. She had called him up two days ago, letting him know that she was coming by for a visit. That she had souvenirs to deliver. He made himself available by taking two days off to spend time with her and made sufficient noises about the leather wallet with his initials and the 'Irie Jamaica' black, green and gold t-shirt she had brought back for him.

"Where's your husband?" He finally broke the silence as she picked up a sea-green ashtray on the table for the third time.

"Gone on business. He's going to be away for a week."

"He did not suggest you accompany him?" He watched her closely as she leaned against the railing and took in the sight of New York spread out before her.

"He did."

"And you said no."

"I have work."

"Which can be done from anywhere in the world. We all know that."

"I'm behind." She offered lamely. When Jordan had suggested that she take the trip to France and Italy with him, she had felt the panic crawling all over her. They were sleeping together in the same bed and the lovemaking was frequent and too intense. She found herself curling up against him as if she belonged there. And had not missed the disappointment on his face when she told him no. She made the excuse saying that she would have to go to New York to do some business. Meet with her agent, seeto her apartment, and visit with her brother. He had even offered to accompany her if she would wait until he returned.

"How's work?"

Tamping down the impatience, Caleb indulged her.

"Work is a bitch as usual. People get off by killing each other, making my job damned certain." He drank more beer.

"I hope you're being extra careful." She murmured absently, picking up the ashtray again. "The weather is beautiful, isn't it? I thought my allergies would be acting up by now, but thankfully, it's not."

"Good." He took another sip of beer and decided enough was enough. "We've talked about the everyday things, like your health, the weather, and my job. Now, why don't you tell me what the hell is going on with you."

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