Page 48 of Rise By Sin

“A broken warrior maybe,” I scoffed.

“I told you I didn’t want to hear that crap anymore,” Jack hissed as he stared me down.

“It’s the truth Jack. I am broken, mind and body. It’s no use any of us denying that, because it’s a fight I have to deal with daily, and you will too if you really want to be with me.”

“Then it’s a fight we’ll all face together – You, me, and Mace. Deacon too if you want. No matter what comes, we’ll deal with it together, but now more doubting the way I feel about you. No more talk about your scars. I want you to see yourself the way I do. I want you to know how sexy and perfect you are, but we can work on it. For now, tell me how you’re feeling?”

“Better. Actually, I feel pretty good this morning. Better than I have in months. I guess I did need the rest.”

“You did. You pushed yourself way too hard. That’s not going to happen again, is it?” He asked with another raise of his eyebrow.

“I have to find Colt. I don’t have time to give in to my pathetic body!”

“We will all find Colt, darlin’ but you can’t keep pushing yourself to the point of losing consciousness. You have to take care of yourself and you have to let us help. When we do find Colt, he’s going to need you,” he pointed out.

“I have to be a part of finding him, Jack. I let him down so many times, but I won’t do it again. I have to do everything I can,” I argued as tears filled my eyes.

Jack wrapped his arms around me and I rested my head on his shoulder as the tears silently fell. I had my arms wrapped so tightly around him, but I needed that. I needed something solid to hold on to so I wouldn’t fall apart again.

“You’ve never let him down, Ave, but I know you need to be a part of getting him back and Mace and I would never stop you from doing that. We just ant you to let us take care of you though. We’re not finding Colt at the cost of your health He wouldn’t want that and you know it.”

I swiped at the tears covering my cheeks, then lifted my head to meet Jack’s eyes. He was looking down at me with concern, but he forced the hint of a smile when my eyes met his.

“I’m so scared,” I admitted as I locked my hands behind his neck and pressed my body against his. “S-scared we’ll be too late. I just…I don’t know what I’ll do if….” God, I couldn’t even ay it. It hurt too much.

“Sshh, love. He’s a smart bloke. If there’s any way he can get away he will. There’s still time for us to find him. You have to cling to that hope.”

CHAPTER 15

AVA

Jack placed his hands under my thighs and lifted me until I was eye level with him. I’d have loved to wrap my legs around his hips, but stiff limbs wouldn’t allow me to do that. Instead I wrapped my arms tighter around him and pushed my chest against his, just needing his warmth and strength to comfort me.

Jack opened his mouth to stay something to me, but he never got the chance as I slammed my mouth over his and kissed him with all of the emotion and need that was coursing through me. He started to kiss me back and I pushed my hands into his wild hair and pulled him even tighter against me as the kiss turned even more desperate. I wouldn’t allow myself to think about whether I should be doing it, or if it was the right thing to do. All I could concentrate was my need to feel and I knew he could give me that.

As I grabbed his hair tighter and tighter, desperate to be closer, and closer still with every second that passed, I found myself griding my center against his shirt, the friction caused by my panties against his shirt buttons enough to light a fire in my core.

My arms, which I was using to move my body against his became tired way too quickly and I pulled back from the kiss and looked at him pleadingly as a small squeak of desperation slipped from me.

“Please Jack,” I pleaded.

“Tell me what you need, love.”

“To feel. Make me feel, Jack, please. I don’t….I can’t think anymore. I can’t,” I gasped, almost begging as I pressed into his arms as close as humanly possible. I knew I had to be hurting him with how tight I gripped his shoulders now, but I was too scared to let go. I didn’t want to fall apart again. I wanted him to make me feel something other than fear and loneliness.

“You sure?” he questioned as he pulled back and studied my face.

“Yes. I’m emotional Jack, but I know what I want. What I need. Please,” I uttered as I pressed my lips against his again and kissed him in pecs again and again. I could taste my tears between us, but thankfully they were stopping as my desire took over all rational thought.

“I’ve got you. I’ll make you feel, love,” he soothed as he wrapped his arm around my back, supporting me easily as he leaned down and lay me in the middle of the bed. “Triggers?” he questioned softly as he stood up again and started unbuttoning his shirt.

“Restraints,” I answered easily. Being tied up was not an option for me after that night. “No pain either. I…I don’t know what else,” I floundered. I hadn’t had anything other than a quickie since the last time I was with Mace and Jack in Temple years before. I had no idea what he had planned, so I didn’t know what could set off my fear response and anxiety.

“Okay. We’re not going to do anything like that any way. For now there’s no scene. No safe words. You tell me to stop instantly if anything makes you feel even slightly uncomfortableor worried, you hear me?” I nodded nervously. I had wanted this so desperately, but now I was feeling anxious. What if I lost it the second he was over me and he never wanted to try again? What if I ruined everything I had wanted for so many years. “You know how this works, Ava. I want to hear words,” he told me firmly.

“Y-yes. I understand,” I spoke, my voice slightly trembling.

“Good,” he nodded as he pulled his shirt open and slipped it off of his shoulders. The bright white revealed a perfect contrast of bronzed skin and tight muscle underneath. I gaped as I took him in. Jack had always been toned, but he had bulked up in the years we’d been apart and he had very clearly defined muscles now. His firm and very distinct six pack led up to tight, tattoo covered pecs, and his shoulders were wide and sculpted to perfection. Even his neck was more corded than it had been before. His tattoos covered most of his upper half, a mixture of script and images that he had once told him all had different, but significant meaning to him. A huge dragon intertwined the images and rose up over his right shoulder and up onto the side of his neck. He was a work of art I could study for endless hours. His slightly wild and wavy blonde hair hung around his handsome face and those blue eyes seemed to shine even brighter in the light coming through the blinds. He was watching me closely as he undid the belt on his black jeans and dropped them down to the floor. “Your injuries? I don’t want to hurt you,” he said as he stood before me in a tight pair of Black boxer briefs, some name I didn’t recognize circling the elastic waist band. I had no doubt it was some fancy designer label. Jack was obsessive about looking good, even down to his underwear. But he never did it in a vain way. Her just seemed to like nice, expensive things. The fact he could wear the crap out of anything he bought didn’t seem to register with him.

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