Page 7 of Rise By Sin

“What do you mean Colt’s in trouble?” Mason asked as they both followed behind me.

“He didn’t come to see me. I know him well enough to know that,” I began as I came to the foot of the metal set of stairs that led up to the small office area above. “Last night I got a visit from a guy with a gun.”

“Is that who hurt you?” Jack growled.

“I handled it, and the guy ran off, but he was looking for Colt, and I don’t think he just wanted to catch up with drinks,” I went on, my embarrassment at how awkwardly I climbed the stairs bringing out my snark.

I knew they were both behind me, either shocked or appalled at how far I’d fallen. I was barely a shadow of the woman I had been the last time they saw me. Back then I’d been young and in shape. I’d never have described myself as anything special, but I wasn’t unattractive. I had some curves, and carried a little extra weight, but I was also toned and fit. My hair used to shine, and with a touch of make up I could make a guys head turn. Now, I was a hell of a long way away from that girl as I all but dragged myself up the staircase breathlessly, fighting with everything I had not to stumble or let my legs shake any worse than they already were.

Stairs were one of the hardest obstacles I’d come across since I was shot, but since I lived on the ground floor of my towering apartment building, and never went anywhere but the gym, I hadn’t had to tackle many flights since then.

Now I was positively vibrating as I pushed my body harder and harder to get up there. I was both embarrassed and ashamed as I moved to place my right leg on a step, then dragged my left leg to follow, with each stair. I was clutching the handrail and using my stick, but even so I was out of breath and feeling the tingling warning of spasms attacking my exhausted legs very soon.

“Ava? Let me help you, babe,” Jack said and I felt his hand start to circle my waist. For the first time in so long I wanted to cave to some kindness. My tough exterior was beginning to wear so thin, and the familiarity of Jack’s unique accent and the feel of his warm hand through my top was so tempting and comfortingly familiar. But I couldn’t. I barely knew Jack or Mason any more, and I was a long way from trusting them with the sliver of a girl who remained under my layers and layers of armor.

“Don’t you dare!” I growled as I twisted away from his touch. “I don’t need fucking help. Just back the fuck off!”

“I only want to help. It’s obvious you’re struggling,” Jack sighed as he backed off enough for me to get away from him.

“I struggle every fucking minute of every day! You gonna be there for all of that too?!” I barked as I half turned around and glared at him hard. I hated the hurt and shock I saw cross his handsome face, but I had to ignore it. He was nothing to me anymore. Neither of them were, I reminded myself. I just needed to check out Colt’s office, then get the hell out of there.

“We will if you let us, Ava. We used to be close once, before you ditched us for bigger, better things. Maybe we can get backto being friends?” Mason said softly, and I couldn’t even bring myself to turn and look at him, already knowing the hurt and concern I would see in his deep, dark brown eyes.

“Ditched you?” I scoffed as I paused but didn’t turn around. “Fuck you, Mace. You have no idea why I left or who I even am now. Screw you and your ‘friends’ bullshit. I came to help Colt. Nothing more!”

Determination and anger got me up the last quarter of the staircase, and I was relieved when neither of them tried to speak to me again. I knew I shouldn’t be so pissed with them. It wasn’t even that they did anything wrong. I never told them they couldn’t scene with other subs, and it was far from their fault I’d run off into the night when I found out they did. What happened to me that horror filled night was on me, and me alone, and yet I couldn’t hide the anger I felt toward the both of them too.

By the time I hit the top of the stairs, I was so exhausted and in pain that the idea of crossing the small landing to get to Colt’s office made me want to lay down and sob, but Mason and Jack were right behind me and I refused to show any more weakness.

Leaning heavily on my stick and pushing through the pain in my shoulders and back, I moved to the heavy oak door into Colt’s office and tried to open it, but found it locked.

“I swear to God, if one of you doesn’t have the key I’m gonna….”

“Easy tiger. I have the key,” Jack soothed as he bypassed me without touching me, then slid the key into the old school lock, throwing the door open for me.

“You can both go now,” I told them as I turned at the doorway and stared them down. “I can handle this from here.”

“Not a chance,” Mace told me with a shake of his head.

“I agree. If Colt’s in trouble it’s too dangerous for you to be handling it alone,” Jack agreed.

“Oh, you agree, do you? How kind of you,” I said sarcastically. “There is just one little issue though.” I added as I held my fingers apart just a fraction as I said it, trying to ignore how hard my hand shook as I held it up.

“And what’s that?” Mace asked.

“I don’t want a fucking thing to do with either of you, so fuck off and leave me alone. I don’t need your help to find Colt, nor do I want it!”

“Watch that tone, Ava!” Mace snapped, ever the dom.

“Fuck you, I don’t answer to anyone anymore,” I laughed as I turned my back on them both and walked unsteadily into the office, flicking the lights on as I passed the switch.

I was trying to seem calm and collected, but inside I was a mess. I hadn’t ever submitted to anyone but the two men before me, and the D/s lifestyle had been something I stayed far away from since that fateful night ten years before. I had thought the idea of submission and my desire for domination had been tortured out of me in the hours I was held by a maniac, but just that little barked command from Mason had me feeling needy and coming alive inside in a way I had forgotten I could.

“Why are you so angry with us, love? Surely we should be the ones pissed with you after the way you just cut all ties and walked away from us without a word. Colt’s been tight lipped about you since you left too. Did you tell him not to tell us anything? Were you punishing us for something?” Jack asked.

I turned as I rounded my brothers huge glass desk and collapsed into his chair. I’d hoped to look a little more graceful, but Iwas barely staying upright and collapse was all I had in me. I’d thought about bringing my wheel chair with me before I left Chicago. Sometimes it was easier to use a chair to get around when a lot of walking was required, but my vanity had won out and I’d left it behind, not wanting my brother, or anyone I knew to see me in that contraption. Now I regretted it. I didn’t even know how I would leave Colt’s office, let alone get back to the hotel.

“I simply moved onto bigger, better things. Wasn’t that how you put it, Mace?” I asked with a sneer that wasn’t real. I was just trying to protect myself, and them.

---