Maddox suddenly stops and turns to face me. The unexpected change in trajectory, coupled with the darkness, makes me slow to react, and I faceplant right into the center of his chest.
I could almost swear Maddox is smirking as he stares down at me. “I wasn’t complaining.”
Really.
I’m not sure how to take the comment if he wasn’t complaining. And my brain isn’t offering up any alternatives because it’s very distracted by his closeness.
Has he always been this tall? Because I don’t remember him towering quite so far over me. Granted, I’ve only been around him the one time, and I was a little out of sorts considering my husband had knocked the shit out of me and threatened my life, but I managed to remember just about everything else about Maddox. It’s surprising I hadn’t also accurately clocked his distance from the ground.
“It’s good that you’re prepared to protect yourself. That’ll make my job a whole hell of a lot easier.” There seems to be a hint of admiration in his voice as he clarifies.
I might be reading too much into it—hearing what I want to hear—but I’m going to take the compliment anyway. Because after years of hearing nothing but how awful I am, it feels really freaking good for someone to say something positive.
Especially someone like Maddox.
“I was also going to kick you in the balls.” I’m fishing now, but I don’t feel bad about it. After just one hit of barely qualifying praise, I already want more. Like some sort of an approval addict.
The shoe does kinda fit.
“And I will be forever grateful you didn’t.”
This time I’m almost positive he’s grinning as he turns away, going back into my bedroom. For a split second his head angles, almost like he’s looking at my nightstand, then I blink and he’s gone.
Freaking disappears into thin air.
“The fuck?” I whisper under my breath as I move to the window. The blinds are barely askew and the sash is slightly ajar. Other than that, there is no indication Maddox was even here, let alone that he just Houdini’d out my window.
And now I’m not sure what to do. Do I stand here and wait for him to come back? Is he expecting me to open the front door so he can walk in?
Probably not with those guys outside, so I have to assume the window is going to be his chosen means of entry for now.
Since he seems to have no issues getting in and out of it on his own, I make the executive decision to try to stay busy until he gets back.
With my baseball bat, of course.
Collecting the heavy steel weapon, I angle it over my shoulder as I open the top drawer of my dresser and fish out a pair of pajamas and the tallest pair of socks I own. Maddox said we won’t be turning the lights back on, so my only real option is to get ready for bed.
And I’m kind of eager about it. I haven’t slept well in weeks. Maybe months.
Hell, possibly years.
But tonight, I’m going to have a dangerous man watching over me, and that might be enough for me to finally be able to relax.
Even now, I feel more secure than I’ve felt in forever. I’m not stupid, so of course I’m going to be prepared and have my baseball bat—with its newly added sock covering—at the ready, but I don’t think Maddox would have left if he was worried I was in imminent danger.
So I head into the bathroom, baseball bat and pajamas in tow, so I can get ready for the sleep I so desperately need. I brush my teeth, wash my face, and change, skipping a shower for now.
I’m not so sure when Maddox will be back, and I’d hate for him to walk in and discover me naked and wet right after meeting my vibrator in person. And right after whatever that was while we were rolling around on the floor wrestling over my baseball bat.
Is there such a thing as a fear boner? Even if there is, I don’t imagine Maddox is capable of getting one. Not the boner part—clearly he’s got that handled. The fear bit is where I think that theory falls apart.
There’s something about Maddox that just seems unflappable. Like nothing fazes him. I came at him in the dark, swinging to kill, and he just grabbed the bat and pinned my arms in place. He did seem a little out of breath after I managed to get a good jab into his ribs. But other than that? It seemed like just another interaction to him. Just another day in the life of a bodyguard.
That makes me cringe a little, my face scrunching up as I toss my clothes into the laundry basket and head out of the bathroom. Because it could technically still be a fear boner. It just might not have beenhisfear that fed it.
Did Alaskan Security send me a masochist mercenary? Although technically I guess he wouldn’t be the masochist. He’d be a sadist in this scenario. And if it’s true, it would be a huge bummer considering a little tiny part of me might have been lusting after him over the past nine months and I’m forsurenot into pain.
But me building a man into something better than he actually is isn’t really a stretch, so Maddox is probably not anywhere near as great as I’ve wanted to imagine he is.