Page 27 of Declan

I can’t say no. Not with the guilt sitting so heavy on my chest.

“Sounds good. I’ll see you tonight.”

We hang up, and I grab the money from the table. I head into Declan’s room and slip half the money back into his sock drawer. It feels childish, but I can’t leave without doing something to balance the scales.

I pull my clothes back on, the scent of his detergent clinging to the fabric, wrapping around me like a memory I’m scared to let go of.

As I gather my things and prepare to leave, Declan appears in the doorway, blocking my exit.

“I talked to Wesley. I’m going home to talk to Jeanne.”

“Lena…” His voice is gentle, his eyes scanning mine with something that looks a lot like longing. “I’d really like you to stay until I get back tonight.”

He leans against the doorframe, arms crossed, shirtless, looking every bit the temptation I’ve been fighting since the second I walked through his door. My heart skips as his eyes roam over me. And for a second, I want to say yes. I want to stay.

I step toward him and rest my hand on his bare chest. His skin is warm, the steady thump of his heart calling out to me.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, my voice barely audible.

Then I duck under his arm and walk out of his house before I do something truly stupid.

Like ask him to stop letting me go.

“I’m sohappy to have my fun friend back,” Jeanne says, grinning as she curls a strand of her hair and checks her makeup in the mirror.

I laugh, but it’s more of a soft, grateful sound. “I missed her, too.”

We’re getting ready in her bathroom, music playing low from her bedroom, makeup brushes and clothes scattered all over the place like old times. The familiar chaos feels like a reset button, and I’m thankful for it.

I told her the truth, well, a version of it. I told her I’d been with someone I shouldn’t have been, and that I didn’t want to talk about it. She didn’t push, just gave me a knowing look and handed me a glass of wine. That meant more than I could ever say out loud.

Once I mentioned we were going to Twisted Souls tonight, she perked right up and practically squealed. After that, she didn’t care about anything else. Not who he was, not what happened. She was just excited that we were getting out. Together.

That’s what I love about Jeanne. She gives me space when I need it, no questions asked, and when I’m ready to let it go, she grabs the tequila and the lip gloss and reminds me how to be me again.

I slip into my favorite black jeans, the ones that hug my hips just right, and a strappy top that makes me feel sexy and strong. I pause in front of the mirror, brushing a bit of highlighter across my cheekbones and adding a touch more eyeliner than usual. I need to feel powerful tonight. Unshakable.

Even though part of me is buzzing with nerves at the thought of seeing Declan.

The other part is just plain excited. I haven’t been out in what feels like forever. Not like this. No fear, no hiding. Just a night with my best friend, good music, strong drinks, and maybe a little flirting. The idea of moving through a crowd, dancing, laughing, pretending for a few hours that my heart isn’t a damn mess. It feels freeing.

But I’d be lying if I said Declan wasn’t on my mind.

I know it’s going to be hard seeing him. Especially if he’s surrounded by other women, smiling at them with that smile that haunts my dreams. Or worse, if he ignores me altogether.

But I have to do this. I have to face him. I have to remind myself that what happened at his place was temporary. A bubble. A beautiful, aching fantasy that burst the second I walked out his front door. It wasn’t real, no matter how much I wanted it to be.

Tonight is about remembering who I am. Lena, the fun one. The one who doesn’t fall apart over a man, no matter how good he smells or how safe his arms feel.

“Okay, you ready?” Jeanne asks, tossing her purse strap over her shoulder and shooting me a wink.

“Hell yes,” I say, smiling as I check myself one last time.

I look good. I feel not quite whole, but close enough.

And as we head out the door, I tell myself that no matter what happens tonight, I’ll survive it.

I always do.

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