Page 25 of Declan

Lena

The slow, steady beat echoes in my head as I snuggle in closer. A warmth surrounds me, a comfort I haven't felt in so long that it almost feels foreign. Strong arms tighten around me, and my eyes snap open.

I freeze, my breath catching in my throat as I assess the situation.

My head is resting on Declan’s chest, the steady thump of his heart beating a slow, soothing rhythm beneath my cheek. One of his hands is splayed across my lower back, his other arm curled beneath my neck like a protective barrier between me and the world. His scent of soap, cedar, and something inherently him wraps around me, intoxicating and dangerous.

He’s sound asleep.

And I should pull away.

I know I should pull away.

But I don’t.

Instead, I close my eyes and allow myself this one selfish moment to breathe him in, to feel safe in his arms, to pretend that this, that we, could be real.

His chest rises and falls beneath me, and I match my breathing to his, letting the steady rhythm lull me back into a dreamy daze. My fingers twitch, tempted to trace the tattoos inked into his skin, to memorize the lines and shadows that stretch across his body. I don't, but the urge is so strong it aches.

I shift slightly, careful not to wake him, but his arms tighten again, instinctively pulling me closer, his hand sliding ever so slightly lower on my back. My breath stutters at the contact, heat flaring across my skin like a wildfire.

I feel the change in him before I even look up. The subtle tension in his muscles, the way his breathing stutters just once before returning to that slow, steady rhythm. His hand flexes against my side, and I know.

He’s awake.

A long beat passes before he speaks, his voice low and husky, still laced with sleep. “You’re not exactly great at staying on your side.”

I don’t answer at first, afraid of what might come out if I do. The truth? A joke? A plea to let me stay?

Instead, I lift my head and meet his eyes.

They’re darker than usual, heavy-lidded and stormy with something that sends a shiver down my spine. Lust. Conflict. Longing. It’s all there, clear as day.

“I didn’t mean to…” I start, my voice barely a whisper.

“I know,” he says, his voice gruff. He shifts beneath me, one hand moving to my waist as if he's going to keep me there, but then he blinks and the mask slips back into place.

And just like that, the warmth starts to disappear.

Declan gently but firmly shifts away, rolling onto his back and dragging a hand through his messy hair. The distance between us is only a few inches, but it feels like a canyon.

“We should get up,” he mutters, voice clipped.

I swallow hard, nodding even though he’s not looking at me. “Yeah. Right.”

The morning light peeks in through the blinds, casting slivers of gold across the bed, but the chill in the room has nothing to do with the temperature.

And everything to do with the wall he just rebuilt between us.

It hurts more than it should, but I climb out of bed as he does. The warmth of his body still lingers on my skin, but I stay seated on the edge of the mattress, facing away from him, because right now I can’t bear to look at him. My heart’s cracked wide open, raw and confused. I’m embarrassed, upset, and undeniably turned on. It’s a brutal combination.

Declan says nothing as he walks out of the room, the door clicking softly behind him like the final nail in my chest. The second he's gone, I drop my face into my hands. I want toscream, cry, pull the sheets over my head, and pretend this never happened, but I can’t. Not when everything inside me is screaming that being this close to him is dangerous.

He thinks he’s protecting me. And maybe in his own way, he is. But it hurts. It hurts because I want more, and he’s made it clear I can’t have it. These feelings, these goddamn feelings I bury so deep, they claw their way up every time I’m near him. And the worst part? I don’t want to stop them.

My feet hit the floor with purpose, determination washing over me like a cold wave. I can’t stay here. I won’t.

I’m leaving today, whether he likes it or not.

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