Page 5 of Finn

Mia

“I don’t know what to do, Ivy,” I say, peeking up at her. I’ve just spent the last half hour trying to talk it all out, but it’s getting me nowhere.

“It has to be your decision, Mia. I can’t make it for you,” Ivy says.

I don’t want to face any of it. Yesterday life was normal, and today I don’t even know who I am. My parents lied to me. Not just about my real father but about their friend that got mixed up with the club. It wasn’t a friend; it was my mom.

If they are lying about this, what else are they lying about? I have more questions than answers. The only ones who will give me answers are my parents, but I feel so betrayed I don’t want to talk to them right now.

Finn offered to introduce me to Porter, but I’m definitely not ready for that. I don’t know if I ever will be. I was raised by two parents that loved me unconditionally. Maybe he made a deal for that to happen, or maybe he just knocked her up and didn’t care. Either way, it doesn’t matter. I’m confused and angry, but I’m not sure I want to have another father.

“Finn had to get to Souls,” Gillian says, walking in.

My eyes meet hers for a moment, and I nod. I don’t trust her. Finn is constantly talking about her, she rushes over here to be with him, and he doesn’t even bother to tell me he is leaving me alone in his house. He told me she’s engaged, but I’m sure none of them are trustworthy. I saw what happened with Ivy. She couldn’t get away fast enough. She says she’s happy now, but is she, or is she just afraid to leave?

I close my eyes against my thoughts. That’s not fair. Finn is a member of the club, and I really like him. We have a good time together, and he’s the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. I’ve been pushing him to let me come to Vegas and stay. I wanted to meet the rest of the club. It’s every bit as intriguing as it is terrifying. That’s the pull. I get it.

Now though, things are different. I don’t trust anyone. The feeling of being alone in all this is terrifying. Finn’s club, my parents—I feel betrayed by them all.

“Mia, is there anything I can do to help?” Gillian asks.

I don’t trust her, so I look at Ivy. “Can we talk?”

Gillian doesn’t even say a word. She steps back outside and closes the door. Part of me feels bad, but the other part, the bigger part, doesn’t care.

“What’s up?” Ivy asks.

I sit down next to her and sigh. “What’s Gillian’s deal?”

She laughs and turns toward me. “What do you mean?”

“Finn is always talking about her. She rushes over here, and they sit outside the entire time. He leaves without saying shit to me but sends her in with the message. Are they fucking?”

She flinches back and widens her eyes. “Woah, back the fuck up. First of all, Gillian and Finn are best friends. In this club, you need a best friend. She’s the reason I’m here. She called me and said she wanted to help you, not Finn, you. She thought since we were friends that me being here would help.” She moves closer to me, and I see a hardness in my friend I’ve never seen before. “Gillian and her fiancé just came out of the other side of some serious shit. Shit, you couldn’t begin to imagine. The love they have for each other runs so deep, just as deep as my love for Kace. She would never betray Riley, and neither would Finn. I know you don’t know these people, and right now, your head is all fucked up trying to process what went down. But they would never hurt one another, especially not for some pussy. Gillian lost her sister in a tragic way. Her heart is huge, and her intentions are real. You can’t expect to make things work with Finn if you don’t trust him. Believe me, I’ve learned that the hard way.”

She sits back, and my eyes widen. “You’re different here.”

“What?” she asks, shaking her head.

“In California, you were sweet and big-hearted. Here you’re hard and defensive,” I say, standing up. “I get it. These are your friends.”

“My family,” she corrects.

I sigh and cross my arms. “Fine, your family. But I don’t know them. I can’t blindly hand over my trust without some kind of knowledge. Finn and I are so new. He doesn’t know much about me, and I know nothing about him. We fuck around, have some laughs, and he leaves. I wanted to come here, to be included more, but now I don’t think I can handle any of it.”

She gets up and hugs me. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to come off defensive, but this club saved me in more ways than you could ever imagine. They are my son’s family. It took time, a lot of time, but once I accepted them, they accepted me. If you want to try and make things work with Finn, you’re gonna need to accept the club. It’s complicated for you, I get that. But Finn will never walk away from the club, and he’ll never fully give himself to someone who doesn’t accept them. The jealousy and anger toward members you don’t know needs to stop. If you want Finn.”

I wipe my eyes, trying to hold back the tears. “I don’t know what I want, Ivy. I like Finn a lot. This just changes everything.”

She nods and grabs her purse. “I understand. You need to talk to your mom and find your truth. But in the meantime, why don’t you let us take you to lunch. You can get to know Gillian because she’s not going anywhere.”

We’ve been at lunch for over an hour. I misjudged Gillian. I let my jealousy get the best of me. I’m a jealous person. There’s nothing I can do about that. I’ve tried, but it’s always there. Probably because I’ve been cheated on so many times, and I always end up looking like a fool. Now I just believe everyone is trying to get with who I like or who I’m with.

Gillian is every bit as funny and kindhearted as Finn has told me. Having lunch with Ivy and Gillian, we’re laughing at stories of exes and jobs we’ve had. It helped me relax. It feels like I’m just having lunch with a bunch of friends, just like I do in California.

The conversation has now moved onto their relationships and the club, though. I’m trying to not let it affect the good mood I was just in.

“You know, the three of us are the only outsiders they’ve ever let in,” Gillian says, sipping her beer.

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