Page 4 of Finn

She excuses herself to go to the bathroom, and I go into the kitchen. I grab a beer out of the fridge and guzzle it down. I feel bad for her, I do, but I’m not looking to get caught up in the middle of her daddy issues. I just got patched into the club. The responsibility is much bigger now. I don’t need to be distracted.

I didn’t have the best example of relationships growing up, so this is all new to me. I’ve been with plenty of women and had a few relationships that lasted a couple of months, but that’s it. The wiring in me tells me to flee, so that’s what I do.

My phone buzzes, and I check the text. It’s from Zane telling us to be around the table in an hour. I toss my phone down and finish my beer.

“I’m sorry, Finn. None of this is your fault or your problem, and I’m taking it all out on you,” Mia says, wrapping her small arms around me.

My large arms hold her close, and I rest my chin on the top of her head. “You’re going through a lot. I’m not taking it personally.” I pull back so she can see my face. “I do need to leave in like forty-five minutes, though.”

“For what?” she asks, searching my eyes.

“Club business.”

She nods and kisses my chest. “Right, I can’t know.”

I don’t say anything because she’s right. This meeting is about her stepfather. Porter won’t let go of the fact that he wants something from us. I don’t know if I agree. He seems to do just about anything Mia asks of him. I know there’s bad blood there, but I think Porter is living in the past with this one.

“Are you hungry?” I ask.

“No, I don’t think I can stomach anything right now.”

Thankfully, the door opens. Ivy and Gillian come walking in, and I feel like a weight is lifted. Maybe I’m not ready for something serious.

Ivy goes right to Mia, hugging her. Gillian smiles at me, and I give her a quick hug. “Thanks.”

“Come out front for a second,” she says.

I follow her outside and light a cigarette, sitting down on the one step that there is. “Christ, I don’t know what I’m doing, Gillian. It was easy when we were just messing around, but this shit is complicated.”

She sits next to me and rests her hand on my knee. I glance over at her, and she smiles. “You don’t strike me as the kind of guy who runs when things get tough.”

“I’m not,” I say, taking a drag of my smoke.

“Do you like her?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.

I run my hand through my hair and look out at the dead grass. “Yeah, but . . .”

She puts a finger over my lips, silencing me. I smile under her finger, and she nods. “When you’re with her, does your pulse race? Does your heart pound? Are your thoughts consumed with her? Does your body burn when she’s near and ache when she’s gone? Do you think you could walk away today and not think about her tomorrow?”

I close my eyes as I run my hand down my face. “She deserves better than me,” I say.

“Shut the fuck up. Don’t ever say that again. She’s the lucky one. No one else could protect her or love her the way you would,” she says.

My eyes snap open as I jerk my head toward her. “Damn, Gillian. Love is so far off I can’t even think about that. I like being with her. We have a good time. If I walked away today, yeah, I’d fucking think of her tomorrow. But I’m not in love.”

I toss my smoke, and she wraps her arm around my shoulders. “I’m not saying you love her. I’m saying no one would love her the way you could. The club scares the fuck out of outsiders. I know from experience. You guys are rough, hard, and possessive as hell. But you love, protect, and comfort your old ladies with a fierceness I’ve never seen. Until Riley, I had no idea what it felt like to have your soul connect with someone else. I can assure you that each of the girls feel the same. You’re worth everything, Finn. When you’re ready to love, you’ll know it.”

I grin as I search her face. “If you weren’t my best friend, I’d drag you to the bedroom for that little speech.”

She laughs, resting her head on my shoulder. “Being your best friend is what’s stopping you, not the fact I’m engaged to Riley.”

I chuckle as I wrap my arm around her. “Yeah, pretty much.” My phone rings, and I grab it out of my pocket. “Oh fuck, I need to get to Souls.” I jump up and look down at her. “You good?”

“We’ve got Mia. You go.”

“Thanks, Gillian, for everything.”

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