Page 26 of Finn

She smiles, leaning back a bit further to see my face better. “What’s your last name?”

She begins to laugh, and I join in. How the hell could we be living together, and she doesn’t even know my last name?

“Ganley. Finn Ganley,” I say.

She doesn’t push me for anything else. She curls into my side, and we watch TV. This isn’t how I thought it would go. I thought she’d keep pushing or judging me for not knowing or understanding love. At the very least, I figured she’d judge my mom. I know she’s going through shit, but she had a good mom. A mom that fed her, clothed her, protected her, and loved her. She knows what love feels like.

“Finn, be a good boy and go play outside,” my mom says.

It’s dark out, and I don’t like the dark, but when the man she brought inside stands in front of me, I run.

I sit on the wooden step that leads into the trailer. It’s cold out, and the wind is blowing strong. I should’ve brought a blanket out with me. I know better than to go inside when she has a man over. They don’t like to be disturbed. Well, at least not while my mom is conscious. Once she starts to pass out, I’ll need to go in and chase away the man before he hurts her.

I can hear the screams from inside, and I’ve learned the difference between the ones that she thinks are good and the ones that are bad. I’m only ten, but I know they are having sex. I don’t understand why she screams like she’s in pain, though.

“Hey kid, you got any cigarettes?”

I glance up at a teenage boy that lives a few trailers down from mine. He tugs his jacket tighter to him, and I shiver.

“No,” I meekly say.

“Well, go inside and steal me some from your mom,” he says.

“I’m not allowed in,” I say.

He hears my mom screaming and chuckles. “Your mom sure knows how to have a good time.”

I roll my eyes and look off into the distance. I guess his idea of a good time and mine are different.

“Go grab me her smokes,” he says again.

I sigh, squeezing my hands into fists. He doesn’t understand. If I go in there, I will see things I don’t want to see. Things I shouldn’t see. My mom getting high while a stranger is touching her. They’ll both get angry, and I will regret it.

I’d rather deal with this teenager than a man that is clearly as high as my mom.

“No, I’m not going inside,” I say.

He pushes me off the step, and I fall into the dirt. He opens the trailer door and steps inside. He’s going to get us both in trouble, and I wrap my arms around myself, waiting for it.

I hear the screams, the anger, and the cries. I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping it will all just stop.

“Where is that little shit?” the man yells, slamming the trailer door open so fast I feel the force behind it.

He looks around, and I curl up smaller. Maybe he won’t see me if I make myself small enough.

“You try to steal from me again, and I will cut your dick off and send it to your mother,” my mom yells, throwing something out the door at the kid.

“Oh, there you are, you little shit. Get up,” the guy growls, leaning closer to me.

I rush to my feet, knowing better than to try and argue. His eyes are wild, and I know, even at my age, it’s because he’s high. He grabs my shirt, and I look over at my mom, naked, leaning against the doorway. She’s smoking a cigarette, staring ahead. She doesn’t care that I’m about to get my ass beat by this guy. She has no intention of saving me.

“Finn?”

I’m snapped out of my thoughts and glance down at Mia. Her eyes are heavy with sleep, and I kiss her forehead.

“Come on, let’s get some sleep. You have a big day tomorrow,” I say, standing up and holding my hand out to her.

She grabs it, and we walk to the bedroom.

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