Page 13 of Forbidden Lust

“Are you okay, Josh?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Tell me if I’m overstepping here, but you seemed overwhelmed when you were ordering your coffee.”

“Oh, that’s just how I am.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m indecisive when there are lots of choices. That’s why I love my job with Oscar. He’s very clear in what he wants. No room for ambiguity. Life’s easier that way, don’t you think?”

It was hard to argue with his logic, but life just wasn’t like that. It was constant ambiguousness and second-guessing. Intuition was essential for survival, and he wasn’t sure if Josh went with his gut very often.

“Is there anything you’ve got going on now that you’re struggling to decide about? Maybe I can help, as a neutral observer,” he smiled.

“Spoken like a true lawyer.”

Daniel chuckled. He wasn’t wrong there, but what he really wanted was for Josh to open up to him and share what was bothering him, because something was.

“I guess . . . well . . . please don’t take this the wrong way . . .”

Daniel shook his head, smiling to give him reassurance.

“It must be nice not to worry about money.”

Daniel was taken aback. That wasn’t what he was expecting Josh to say, and he immediately prickled. Memories of his ex-husband flashed through his mind, but then he saw the earnest look in Josh’s eyes, the blush on his cheeks, embarrassed at what he’d said. Those eyes turned panickedthe longer Daniel stayed silent, and he felt he had to put his hand on Josh’s to stop him from bolting.

“Why don’t I tell you a bit about my background,” he said.

It wasn’t something many people knew. Only Gavin knew his full history. Not that he was ashamed, he just didn’t think it was anybody’s business.

“I grew up in a council house, just outside Manchester.”

Josh’s eyes widened. “You don’t sound Mancunian.”

“I’ve lived down south since I was eighteen, so my accent’s just faded. It comes out a bit when I’m drunk.”

Josh chuckled.

“I went to Starhaven University.”

“Oh my God. That’s where I went,” he said, all excited. “My sister goes there as well. She’s in her last year.”

Daniel smiled, knowing they had that connection. He also filed away the remark about his sister for later. It was the first personal thing Josh had shared outside the bedroom.

“I was raised by a single mum. My Dad had no interest in me, but I didn’t feel like I was missing out on anything, as I had my nan as well. It was like having two mums. It was just us against the world. She always worked, as did my nan. Sometimes she was doing three jobs. I was always good at school. Aced all my exams, and knew from a young age that I wanted to be a lawyer. I wanted to argue in court and fight for justice. Like a British Perry Mason.”

“Perry who?” said Josh, with a smirk.

He leaned forward. “Keep being cheeky and you’ll get a spanking later, boy.”

Josh’s eyes widened, and he flushed. Daniel wondered if he’d gone too far. Then he caught Josh adjusting himself, and smiled. Something else to park for later.

“I could have gone to Oxford or Cambridge, but I wanted to be in the gay capital of the world. I came out when I wassixteen. My mum and nan couldn’t have been bigger cheerleaders. Even though it was the nineties, my coming out was pretty good. There was the odd arsehole, but growing up on that estate, I could look after myself if things ever got physical. They didn’t, but I was ready for it if anyone started anything.”

“I couldn’t imagine you in a fight. I mean, you’re all rough and manly in the... Well, you know, but you look a bit too posh to be involved in a street brawl.”

Daniel couldn’t help but laugh out loud, which got them a look from Jakub. He smiled and went back to serving his customer.

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