Page 93 of Don't You Dare Marry Me

Did she confess everything? Surely Simone would be helpful with it. “I just realized that Abagail and I want drastically different things, and so we broke up. Kind of? We weren’t really together before.”

“Oh, Nicola.” Simone’s voice warmed her, the comfort and compassion there.

“Don’t tell Alanna, though. I don’t need theI told you sofor the next three months.”

Simone chuckled at that. Nicola must be doing better than she’d thought she was if she could manage to at least smile at that. “How are you doing, though? Breakups can be hard.”

“I’m not even sure we can call it that.” Nicola rubbed her lips together and held the phone tightly as cars passed by her on the street. She closed her eyes and rested into her seat. “Because we weren’t dating, and Abagail made it clear from the beginning that’s not what this relationship was.”

“Doesn’t mean feelings weren’t involved.”

“True.” And there had been, at least on Nicola’s side. She’d thought for a while there that Abagail had felt similar, but she must have been wrong. Nothing had changed on Abagail’s end, but Nicola had wished it into being.

Perhaps this was the cold side that Warren had always talked about, how his Aunt Abagail was closed off and didn’t care about anyone but herself. Yet, everything she’d done since Nicola had started to get to know her better said the opposite. Abagail had a very caring heart. She just simply didn’t love Nicola.

I’m fond of you.

Nicola could have rolled her eyes at that. Who said something like that and actually meant it? It was so off-putting and patronizing. Just that thought alone churned Nicola’s stomach toward hatred and annoyance. She should have known better, and she should have protected herself better.

But she hadn’t. She’d gotten swept up in the idea of an older woman swooping in to take care of her, of righting the wrong, of defending her when those who were bullies to her resurfaced. And it had all been based on a fantasy and a lie.

“I was going to ask if I can come stay with you a bit, but I need this job here, and I can’t do that commute for it.”

“So what will you do?” Simone asked.

“Get a hotel room for a bit until I can rent out a studio nearby, I suppose. I just worry about leaving Alanna so far away on her own, too. I know she’s an adult now, but she needs me.” Nicola ran her fingers through her hair and pressed her shoulders into the seat of her car.

“She needs you or do you need her?” Simone sounded so confident when she asked that.

“Probably a little of both.”

“She’s an adult, Nic. And she needs to be treated like an adult and not a child.”

“But she can’t be an adult, not like anyone else can.” Nicola winced. She hated the words as soon as they came out of her mouth. “I know what you mean.”

“Do you?” Simone sighed. “I spent a lot of time with her yesterday, and she’s worried about you. Not just because of whatever this is with Abagail but because you seem to be running yourself ragged to take care of her. She might not physically be able to do what she used to, but mentally, she’s fine. And she’s well aware of how much stress you put on yourself to take care of her. But she’s an adult, Nic. And she needs to be given the voice of an adult, not a child.”

“I know. I know.” Nicola shook her head. She’d known that for a while, that she was in some ways infantilizing Alanna because it was easier than letting Alanna work through some issues on her own, but at the same time, someone had to be there to help out because she couldn’t do it all.

Neither can you, Nic.

It was like she could hear Alanna say those words out loud. And Nicola hated to admit it, but imagined Alanna was right. No one could do all of this on their own, and she really needed to start asking for help and then taking it when it was offered.

“I’ll work on that,” Nicola said. “Hey, I’ve got to get inside to get started on my shift, all right?”

“Yeah, sure,” Simone said softly. “Call me tomorrow, though. I’m worried about you.”

“I’ll be fine. I always am.” Nicola didn’t say anything else as she hung up.

Tommie walked through the back door to the bar, and Nicola knew that she could finally get inside. She snagged her purse and pocketed her keys in it before she followed Tommie’s footsteps. She was early for her shift, but she was pretty damn sure that she wouldn’t be turned away if she showed up to help them get set up.

And it’d be nice to be inside before the customers started showing up for the day. Nicola stashed her purse in the small break area that they had, locking it up and then straightening her back.

“You’re early,” Tommie commented.

“Uh yeah… I needed to clear my head.”

“So you thought you’d come here?” Tommie raised an eyebrow of disbelief at her.

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