Page 62 of Don't You Dare Marry Me

“I’m still staying with Abagail for a while. She’s given me a room that I can crash in.” Her mouth pulled into a tightly forced smile.

“Just a room?”

Nicola smiled genuinely then and rolled her eyes. “Yes, other things too, but not a relationship. Not like what you’re thinking.” Nicola sat back in her chair and put her feet up on the edge of Alanna’s bed.

“You’re not in a relationship?”

“No.” That word hurt to say, which was unexpected. The pain from it ricocheted through Nicola’s chest, lodging somewhere behind her ribs and making itself known like a pebble stuck in the ball of her foot while she was trying to walk. Why was that? She and Abagail had never agreed to a relationship. In fact, every part of their connection—or whatever Nicola was going to call it that day—was about not being in anything but a sexual relationship. “She’s just helping me out since Warren’s an ass.”

Alanna sneered. “He is an ass. I never liked him much.”

“Yeah, I know.” Nicola gave a wan smile. She’d dealt with that for years and still had chosen to ignore the warning signs. When Alanna didn’t like someone, she typically was right about their personality. “But he’s gone now. I don’t have to deal with him again.”

Memories of the confrontation in the kitchen came flooding back, but they were shortly followed by the image of Abagail stepping in, putting herself directly in the line of fire, making sure that Nicola wasn’t going to face the brunt of whatever Warren had to throw at her. And despite what Abagail may have tried, Nicola had heard the phone calls afterward. The ones from Estelle, and there were a few, and some from cousins that Nicola had barely known existed before Abagail.

Eventually, Abagail had given up answering her phone.

“When are you going to get a boyfriend? Huh?” Nicola asked, giving her sister a pointed look. “I’ve been waiting all these years to try out my big sister glare on them, but I haven’t ever gotten a chance.”

Alanna’s cheeks turned bright red, and she refused to look at Nicola.

“Oh my God! Is there actually someone?” Nicola dropped her feet to the floor and leaned forward, lowering her voice and whispering. “Who is he?”

“There’s no one,” Alanna muttered, but Nicola could so very easily tell that she was lying.

“Tell me!”

“No, not yet.”

“Not yet?!” Nicola squeaked. “What does that mean?”

“I want to make sure it’s real first.”

“Real?” Nicola frowned. “Make sure what’s real?”

“Whatever it is.” Alanna rolled her eyes, and the red was receding.

Nicola wanted to ask so many more questions, starting with how the fuck Alanna managed to meet someone while she was essentially locked away in a rehabilitation facility.

“I promise I’ll tell you when I know something.”

“Know what?”

“Like if we’re actually in a relationship.” Alanna lifted her chin. “Wouldn’t you tell me ifyouwere in a relationship?”

“Uh… yeah.” But would she? What she and Abagail were doing had felt far closer to a relationship in the last couple weeks than it had before, but even then, something wasn’t quite jiving there. Like there was a block and Nicola had no idea what it was or how to navigate around it or even call it out. If she wanted to, that was. Because ultimately, she wasn’t sure she did.

Abagail was a much older woman, nearly twice Nicola’s age, and she was Warren’s aunt. There’d never been any indication that Abagail had relationships in all the years Nicola had been familiar with the family, and she was pretty damn sure that was something Abagail wasn’t looking for.

Which left Nicola exactly where she was. Using their connection to her advantage for as long as possible. And hopefully they’d leave on good terms when it was time for everything to end.

“Abagail has been very sweet to help me out for a bit. I didn’t have a place to stay after Warren broke up with me, so it’s nice of her to give me a place for a bit until I can get a job and get my feet back under me.”

“I don’t think that’s all it is.” Alanna pointed her hand in Nicola’s direction. “And you’re in denial. And not the river, Sis.” Alanna laughed at her own joke, and Nicola couldn’t stop her responding smile.

“I’m not in denial about anything, Alanna.” Nicola stretched her arms over her head. “I just understand all the intricacies of what’s going on in a way that you don’t because I haven’t told you about all of them.”

“So tell me.”

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