How could he think half of what he did was acceptable?
If there was one thing for certain that Abagail knew now, it was that Nicola wasn’t perfect. Which, if she thought about it, she intuitively knew. But she’d started to fool herself into thinking that they were perfectly matched. But this… this wasn’t that. Nicola came with a past and history and relationships—something that Abagail certainly didn’t come with.
And it was something that Abagail had never wanted.
Stepping outside into the breeze, Abagail left the house and walked the same path that Nicola had taken earlier. She trailed through the tall grass and the sand mixed with stone. She found Nicola with her bare toes digging into the sand, and her gaze off in the distance. Enough was enough already. Abagail breathed in the scent of the fresh salty water, the air as it wrapped its lovingly cold arms around her, and she did the exact same for Nicola.
The silence was killing her.
She stepped up behind Nicola, resting her chin on Nicola’s shoulder, and hugged her. Nicola instantly relaxed back into Abagail’s embrace, but still she said nothing. Abagail closed her eyes and listened to the sound of Nicola’s breathing along with the far-off call of the seagulls. This wasn’t what their week was supposed to be.
It should have been fun, full of lots of fucking, laughs, drinks, and everything that might relax the two of them. Instead, they were thrown into a turmoil that they might deserve but neither of them wanted.
“He won’t be coming back here,” Abagail murmured into Nicola’s ear. “Not now, not ever.”
She’d already made that decision. Warren wasn’t going to be allowed back into this house. It would be a sacred space for the both of them, and she wouldn’t let his anger and abuse taint it again.
“You shouldn’t make promises that you can’t keep.”
“I can keep this one. And I will.”
Nicola sighed heavily, and then she turned in Abagail’s arms. They faced each other, toe to toe, and Abagail deeply felt the pain in Nicola’s gaze.
“I didn’t know, Nic.” Abagail reached up and cupped Nicola’s cheek, brushing her thumb just under her eye and then across her lips. “I didn’t know what he was really like.”
Nicola’s lips pulled thin, and she glanced down at something between them. “You don’t know the half of it.”
“I’m sure I don’t.” Abagail raised Nicola’s chin back up so they could look at each other. “Whether I ever do or not doesn’t make what he did right. Nothing will ever make him right.”
Nicola’s lips quirked slightly, and there was a spark of light that Abagail had been missing all morning. Nicola was nothing but resilient. This woman had resilience in spades. How had she ever been able to manage that?
“He is an asshat, isn’t he?” Nicola laughed lightly.
“He is.” Abagail continued to stroke Nicola’s cheek and lips, keeping an eye on her. It felt as though she was finally pulling the real Nicola back to the surface, preventing her from drowning completely. And maybe that’s all this was. Maybe Nicola had been plunged into the depths of something she didn’t want to face, and now she was finally breaking through the water. “I promise I won’t let him hurt you,” Abagail whispered.
She leaned in, pressing their mouths together in a beautifully tender kiss. Abagail never would have believed she had it in her to do that until now. But Nicola responded to physical affection like this. She’d seen that several times in the last few days, andnow again, she witnessed it. The rest of Nicola’s body seemed to melt, the tension in her shoulders washing away, and her body listing forward into Abagail’s.
Abagail held onto her tightly, wrapping her arm around Nicola’s back firmly before sliding her hand to the back of Nicola’s head and deepening the embrace. She wasn’t seeking more, and she wasn’t wanting Nicola to give in to anything that she was uncomfortable with. But she did wantherNicola back. The fun-loving, energetic soul that Abagail had come to admire.
That was the true Nicola.
twenty-three
“How was your week away?”
Nicola smiled at her sister, knowing full well that she didn’t want to go into the details of what actually happened in the last week or the fact that they had returned a few days early because Nicola just couldn’t stand to be in that house any longer. She gave Alanna a small smile and nodded.
“It was really good. I’ll try to convince Abagail to take you next time. We can roll you right out onto the beach.”
Alanna laughed, her entire body shaking. Nicola loved that her sister still had that light air about her, that the accident and their parents’ deaths hadn’t weighed on her. While Nicola pretended to be happy all the time, she rarely felt it. Most often she was burdened by the weight of her responsibilities, and it wasn’t until Abagail had so pointedly said that it sucked to be the one responsible for the entire family that Nicola couldn’t avoid that weight any longer.
“Was the beach nice?”
Nicola nodded. “Yeah. I spent a few days out there. Not the greatest weather for sunbathing.” She chuckled and snagged her sister’s hand and gave her a squeeze. “But I can see where it’dbe really nice to go there in the summer. Minus the fact that everyone else will be there at the same time.”
Alanna nodded, the tightly curled fingers that she couldn’t move a warm balm in Nicola’s hand. “And Abagail?”
That was more than just a simple question. Nicola couldn’t deny that Alanna had paid very close attention to the two of them when they’d stopped by before. And Nicola still had no idea what to say about their relationship. Because they didn’t really have one, did they?