Page 93 of Promises We Meant to Keep

Elia shrugged and headed back toward the couch. “I didn’t admit it to myself until this morning, so it’s not like I’ve withheld information from you.”

“Admit it?” Abagail took the offered glass of wine and pointed it toward Elia. “You mean you truly didn’t know before now?”

“I didn’t.” Elia sat back down. “I might have if I’d taken the time, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to.”

“Because of everything that happened eighteen years ago?” Abagail sipped her wine, but she kept her gaze locked on Elia.

“Yes, because of that,” Elia agreed. “But also because I wasn’t ready to admit that perhaps love isn’t as bad as I had become to believe it was. Maybe Kam was right.”

“Right about what?”

“Loving someone is hard. Kam meant loving someone else, but I think loving ourselves is one of the hardest things we can possibly do.” Elia settled into that thought, to the realization that for the last eighteen ears, she’d done anything but love herself. She’d tried to be someone she wasn’t, and she’d tried to hide away from the world she had once thought would support her no matter what.

“Damn, that’s deep.” Abagail pointed her glass toward Elia. “You get deep when you drink wine.”

Elia smiled sweetly. “Sometimes.”

thirty-three

“You got a minute?” Elia stood in front of Kamryn, most of the faculty already leaving after the staff meeting that morning.

Kamryn’s heart raced. She was still feeling some of the effects of her overdrinking at the wedding, and while her brain was moving slower than she wanted it to, her body clearly wasn’t. She couldn’t stop herself from looking at Elia, from noticing the small things about her that made her so damn attractive, and the way that Kamryn instantly relaxed in her presence. Even if she knew she wasn’t going to like the conversation that was coming.

“Sure,” Kamryn answered, staying seated.

Elia looked around the room and shook her head. “If we could go to your office…”

“Oh.” So it was serious. Sure, it’d been a bit of a test, but Kamryn had gotten her answer relatively quickly and without any harm. She cleaned up her workspace and slid everything into her satchel. Elia carried her notebook with her as they walked slowly and silently out of the conference room and toward Kamryn’s office.

Kamryn had no clue what to say. She wasn’t even sure what this conversation was about, and it’d be unlike Elia to bring up the wedding and consequences now. That promised phone callhad never happened, and Kamryn was pretty sure it would never happen at this rate.

Did it really matter in the long term?

Or was it just because Kamryn wanted an excuse to spend more time with Elia?

Then again, they were at an odd place in their relationship. Kamryn pushed open the door to her office, keeping it open until Elia stepped all the way inside. Kamryn immediately started to shut it, but Elia shook her head.

“Leave it open.”

“Okay.”

Elia had gotten more finicky about those types of things, and while this conversation might be serious it might not be confidential either, which meant the door could remain open. Kamryn kicked down the door stop so that it stayed in place before heading to her desk to drop her stuff on the top of it. She didn’t sit down in her chair, but leaned against the edge of her desk, crossed her arms, and waited for Elia to begin whatever conversation she decided they needed to have today.

She looked so uncomfortable. Elia kept glancing between Kamryn and the door that she had requested stay open. Her face was drawn, and any of the joy that Kamryn had discovered there in the last few months was completely gone. Everything in her wanted to step forward and wrap Elia up in a hug, soothing whatever this upset was, but she was going to respect boundaries.

At least for right now.

Because they could both be professional, couldn’t they? They’d had fun while the relationship lasted, but the wedding was over. Which meant so was the deal they’d made. It seemed so silly now, to even think that Elia would consider making that deal with her and that Kamryn would even agree to it. They’dboth been so reckless, but they’d used that as a way to get their feelings for each other out into the open.

Kamryn didn’t doubt their attraction to each other.

She doubted whether or not their relationship was sustainable.

“I wanted to give you this in person,” Elia finally said, sliding her notebooks around and pulling out a white envelope.

Kamryn’s stomach plummeted. Her heart sank. She didn’t move to reach forward to take it. Elia held it out in front of her, still keeping quite a bit of distance between them. Kamryn gave her a hard stare, her fingers balling into tight fists as she continued to stare at Elia.

After everything they’d been through so far, this was how Elia was going to end things?

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