“Yes,” Elia said, full confidence in the word.
thirty-nine
“Yes?” Kamryn asked, thoroughly confused. Hadn’t Elia just said no? And now she was saying yes? But it didn’t feel like she was answering the same question as before. “What questions?”
“No questions.” Elia had a hint of a smile on her lips.
Kamryn’s brain was struggling to keep up with everything. The relief as she walked out of that board meeting had been overwhelming, and she’d dragged her feet back to her apartment. She’d had every intention of curling up on the couch and probably falling asleep in her clothes because she couldn’t be bothered going to the bedroom and changing.
“Elia, you’re going to have to catch me up on what you’re talking about.” Kamryn was ready to sink into these couch cushions and sleep the night away, but at the same time it was such a struggle to keep her eyes closed and turn her mind off. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the last few hours and all the conversations sprouting around the table, not to mention the last week, as everything had come to a head.
“Yes,” Elia said again.
Okay, Kamryn was really missing out on something now. She was just about to ask for more clarification when Elia answered her.
“Yes, you can kiss me. Yes, I want to be with you.”
Kamryn stilled. She hadn’t realized they were even talking about that. She’d mentioned it earlier, but Elia hadn’t seemed remotely interested. Then again, she might have just been overwhelmed by everything that had happened. Kamryn had more time to digest it all.
Sitting up a little straighter, Kamryn reached for Elia’s hand and took it in her own. “You can think about it more if you want. I’m not in any rush.”
“I am.” Elia raised her chin up, her lips still curled upward in a true moment of happiness. One that was so fucking rare for Kamryn to see from her. “I’m in a rush.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m tired of holding myself back.” Elia lifted Kamryn’s hand to her lips, kissing her knuckles gently. “I’m tired of living in fear and in the shadows. I’m ready to live.”
Kamryn’s heart raced. “Even if this doesn’t work out?”
“Even if it doesn’t work out.” Elia turned Kamryn’s hand over and kissed the inside of her wrist.
The touch of her lips sent shivers racing up Kamryn’s arm and straight into her chest. She couldn’t drag her gaze away from Elia’s mouth, the closeness between them mocking her to do something, but she was stunned speechless.
“I want you to kiss me,” Elia murmured, pressing another kiss, this one higher up and very near the inside of Kamryn’s elbow. “And I want to kiss you.”
“Yessss,” Kamryn whispered, the word barely audible over the blood rushing to her head. “I love you, Elia.”
Elia grinned fully then. She reached up, cupping Kamryn’s cheek with her hand, the softness of her fingers so tender and loving in the caress. Kamryn closed her eyes and leaned into the touch, reveling in it, savoring it. She needed this. They both needed it.
“Fucking kiss me already,” Kamryn demanded, keeping her eyes closed as she waited for what Elia would do next.
It didn’t take long for their lips to brush, for the brush to become more intense, for Kamryn to part her lips and move into the embrace. She threaded her fingers behind Elia’s head, holding her close and sighing into the kiss. God, she’d missed this. It hadn’t been that long, but it felt like forever. All that tension that had been pushing them apart had completely dissipated. Kamryn was ready to reconnect.
She moaned when Elia pulled her lower lip into her mouth, sucking gently before diving back in and deepening the kiss. Kamryn gave her whole self over to this moment, to the touches and the kisses, to the hope that was rekindled between them. They were actually doing this. They were going to be together.
“Elia…” Kamryn murmured before being completely distracted by yet another kiss. She started to lift up, pushing Elia back slightly. Kamryn caressed her neck, her shoulder, dropped her hand down to Elia’s and squeezed before breaking the kiss. “Elia, you’re sure?”
“More sure than anything. I promise you I’m not going to hold back.” Elia kissed Kamryn’s cheek, then her other one. She kissed her forehead. “I want to be with you tonight, to stay here and take care of you. This hasn’t been easy on you.”
Kamryn snorted lightly, shaking her head in agreement. “It’s been awful.”
“Then let me take care of you.” Elia kissed her lips again.
“Make love to me,” Kamryn begged. She was already pulling at her shirt to get it loose and away from her skin. “Make me forget these last few weeks for a little bit.”
“Are you sure? You don’t want to rest?” Elia was already helping Kamryn pull the shirt off, lifting it over her head and dropping it to the side of the couch.
“I’m sure.”