Page 80 of Promises We Meant to Keep

“But where is that confession? Because I haven’t found it yet.” Kamryn pointed to all the papers on the desk. “And that’s what I need, to prove that you were innocent eighteen years ago.”

“I don’t know.” Elia worried her lower lip. “I wasn’t ever given a copy of that because it was considered confidential on the school’s side.”

Kamryn wrinkled her nose. “I thought, originally, that the investigation into the complaints had been well done, and it might very well have been, but with no evidence to support that, I don’t even know what to think any more.”

“I hate what this is doing to you,” Elia said, unexpectedly not just to herself but to Kamryn. The look on Kamryn’s face was confirmation enough of that. “It’s not worth it.”

“Of course you’re worth it,” Kamryn retorted.

That hadn’t exactly been what Elia said. She wasn’t struggling with her self-worth. She was struggling with thedrama that seemed to come from her, from the chaos that she seemed to bring with her into every relationship and every conversation lately. It would be so nice to just go back to how it was before.

“This isn’t worth it,” Elia reiterated. “Fighting them.”

“Of course it is.” A deep line formed in the middle of Kamryn’s forehead. “First, I need to know what’s going on at the school and what else was hidden. Your situation is just one of many that could be hiding away and causing issues that I don’t know about. But second, I won’t stand for injustice, Elia. You have to know that about me.”

Elia did know that, but she also wasn’t convinced that this was an injustice at this point. The accusations had been made years ago, she was found innocent of them, but it wasn’t like that was happening anew this time. And she had to keep reminding herself of that. This wasn’t a new threat. It was the same one that she had faced before and beaten.

“I do know that,” Elia answered. “But also know this about me… I’ve been down this road before, and I’m not sure it’s worth it to go down there again.”

“Even if you have support this time?”

“I had support last time.” Elia wouldn’t discount Abagail, and she certainly wouldn’t discount the fact that there were others who showed as much support as they could during that time. It was difficult, and eighteen years ago, she was convinced the entire world was out to get her. But looking back on it, that hadn’t been the case. “Rylann is the one who needed support, not me. She was crying out for attention, and she got it, but it wasn’t the kind that she needed.”

Kamryn pulled away slightly.

“You’ve been teaching for years, Kam. You have to have known students like that.”

“I do,” Kamryn answered.

“I blamed her for years, you know. I blamed Rylann, I blamed Yara, and I blamed myself. I put myself in a position to be easily accessible to my students, to be seen more as friend than teacher, and that put me at risk. I refused to do that again since.”

“Is that why you’re so closed off now?” Kamryn touched the top of Elia’s hand, curling her fingers around and squeezing lightly. “Because you’re so different now.”

“I am.” Elia’s shoulders stiffened. “And it’s for good reason.”

“In some ways, I’m glad you changed,” Kamryn said, a glint in her eye that Elia wasn’t quite sure where to place.

“Why’s that?”

“I find the mystery behind an icy heart absolutely attractive.” Kamryn chuckled nervously, as if she knew this wasn’t the time and the place but she was stretching to lighten the mood.

“Are you saying that you wouldn’t have found me attractive twenty years ago? If you were who you are now, I mean.”

“Absolutely not.” Kamryn winked. “Why do you think I liked Lauren so much?”

“Lauren.” That was something that Elia hadn’t really thought about or wanted to think about. Lauren had been one of those troubled students that Elia had tried to keep her eye on from a distance. She always seemed to have a dark cloud around her. And that was still the case all these years later. If Kamryn was attracted to the women who needed fixing, then it would make sense why she and Lauren had been together forever, and why she struggled to break it off entirely. “I want you to think about something.”

“Sure.”

Elia knew this could be the end of what they’d started, but she wanted to make it clear. “I don’t need you or want you to fix me.”

“Elia—”

“I’m serious, Kam. I don’t want it. I can deal with my own problems and my own neurotic habits. I don’t need you swooping in and thinking that I’m suddenly going to be someone different than I am today.” That cold air wasn’t the only thing bothering Elia, clearly. But she’d said her word, and she wasn’t going to let it go this time.

“I don’t want you to change,” Kamryn said slowly. “I don’t know why you think I do want that, but I don’t. You have changed in the last two decades, just like anyone does, but I don’t want to change you.”

“It doesn’t sound like that to me.” Elia covered Kamryn’s hand on hers briefly before removing it. “Let me know what you need from me for tomorrow.”

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