Is that what this odd feeling was? Completeness? The end to what Elia had never truly believed would end? Had Kamryn finally succeeded in doing that? Elia blinked, looking Kamryn over in a new light. She hadn’t truly seen her as admin beforethis week, but with the way Kamryn had held herself during their confrontations and with the ethics team and the board?
“You deserved this job, Kam. Far more than I did.”
Kamryn’s brows drew together, a definite sign of her confusion as she threw a look in Elia’s direction. “You would have been just as good if not better as Head of School.”
“No. I wouldn’t have.” Elia had never been more confident in that. The jealousy that she’d allowed to take over her when Kamryn had first started was completely gone. “You’re really good at this job.”
“Well… thank you.” Kamryn smiled again, her cheeks tinging pink from the compliment. “That’s high praise coming from you.”
Elia smiled in response, her heart fluttering lightly. “You deserve it.”
“So do you. Still one of the best damn teachers that I know.” The last bit of tension disappeared from Kamryn’s face.
Elia wanted to bring it up, and she’d half expected Kamryn to. Then again, that wasn’t exactly Kamryn’s style, was it? Elia snagged the glass off the coffee table and tilted her head back, swallowing the rest of the liquid in one long gulp.
She stood up, copying Kamryn’s moves from before to put the glass away. She needed just a few more seconds to center herself. When Kamryn had said they could be together, her heart had leapt right before fear had taken over its place. She was so used to living in fear, wasn’t she? It was almost like she hadn’t been living at all for the last few years. She’d simply been existing within the world in a way that she would make as little impact as possible.
But Kamryn had paved the way for her to do something different, to live more truly to herself than she had been. And she couldn’t ever be more grateful to Kamryn for that. The silence was loud, and the call to fill it with something was strong.
But what exactly did she want to say?
What did she want to do?
She still had all these decisions to make and things to do, but there was only one thing that called through that loud echo of silence.
Kamryn loved her.
Love.
She hadn’t let that sink in until now, but Kamryn had told her in the coffee shop bathroom that she loved her. And she’d been so unapologetic in it. She hadn’t wanted anything out of it, she hadn’t wanted anything from Elia, and here they were.
Elia set her glass in the sink and turned around, eyeing Kamryn over the back of the couch. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and she’d already pulled off her suit jacket. Elia’s lips tingled, the memory of their almost kiss in that bathroom coming back fully. What she would have given for Kamryn to give in and just push her against the wall, to take the decision from her so she didn’t have to make it.
But Kamryn wouldn’t ever do that.
That wasn’t who she was.
The memory of their last kiss, the tenderness and hope and fear that had mingled all within it. The memory of their first kiss—or at least what Elia considered their first true kiss. Kamryn all hot and bothered by the board dealing with the very issue she’d now resolved. She’d kept all of those promises, hadn’t she?
And that first kiss.
Wholly unexpected, awkward, and hot as hell. Elia hadn’t been touched so reverently by someone before, hadn’t been held so closely and carefully, and never in such a public setting. Each of those memories was one that Elia never wanted to forget. But more than that, she wanted to make more.
“Kam?”
“Hmm?” Kamryn replied from the couch, barely moving.
“Did you want another drink?”
“No.” Kamryn yawned. “I think I’m done for the night. I could really use the rest instead of staying up later.”
Right. Kamryn was exhausted. Elia had seen that the moment she’d laid eyes on her that evening. She couldn’t imagine the number of hours and the tension that Kamryn had been holding in the last few weeks. Rinsing out her glass, Elia dried her hands on the towel on the counter before heading back to where Kamryn sat.
Elia walked around toward her jacket, intending to leave, but she stopped short when Kamryn’s gaze reached hers. She didn’t want to leave. She wanted to stay and take care of Kamryn and make sure that she got the rest that she needed.
“Did you have any more questions?”
Elia shook her head, biting her lip before she settled on what she wanted to do next. Instead of grabbing her jacket, she strode back toward the couch and slid onto the cushion next to Kamryn. She had one more chance to get this right, and that was exactly what she needed.