Page 31 of Finance Bros

“Asshole.” I stand up and rip my shirt off over my head. I’d tell him he can suck my dick, but he might actually take me up on it. I shudder.Ugh.Why does heget to melike this? I refuse to give him the satisfaction of being right. I amnotuptight.

“Okay, okay,” Bailey says appreciatively, checking out my abs and somehow managing to ignore the tension. “This works.” She gestures at me and looks at Ryan who is very deliberatelynotlooking at me.

“Give him something to say,” he mumbles. “You’ll see.”

I cannot wait to prove him wrong. My competitive streak has come online, and I refuse to back down.

Bailey types something into her phone and hands it to me. It’s an AI answer to the question “What’s a great stock market tip?”

“Are we planning to use AI for this?”

“It’s an audition,” she says. “And don’t disrespect Google. I learned everything I know from the internet.”

“Are you gonna film it?” I challenge Ryan who still hasn’t looked at me.

“Um…I can,” Kaylin says. “You need the dog, right?”

I watch her approach with Stephanie. She looks very unhappy with me. Not the dog. Kaylin. She hands me her Yorkie, though, and takes her phone out of her back pocket. All of a sudden I realize I’ve never done anything like this before. I get an instant case of stage fright.

“What do I do?” I ask anyone who’ll answer.

“Just read the top paragraph and look like a hot guy holding a dog,” Bailey says.

Ryan snorts but hides his mouth behind his hand.

Doing my best to ignore him, I look down at the phone. It says:A great stock market tip for long term success is to invest in a diversified portfolio and stay committed to your long-term goals, avoiding emotional and short-term trading.

“We’re gonna need better material,” I say. “Everyone knows this.”

“Not everyone,” Bailey argues because I can’t say anything right apparently. “And this is practice. Make it sexy.”

I gape at her. “What?”

“I told you,” Ryan says to her.

“I heard that,” I snap.

“I figured since you’re five feet away, but go ahead,” he taunts. “Show us what you got. Be sure to incorporate the dog, or it’s pointless.”

“This is ridiculous,” I say. “What does Stephanie have to do with anything?”

Bailey laughs. It’s the first time I’ve heard the sound come out of her, and the way she giggles would be endearing if I weren’t standing in the middle of my living room shirtless with three people staring at me waiting for me to read the most boring line of text ever written and “make it sexy.”

I look at Kaylin who’s got her phone aimed at me. “Are you filming already?”

She nods.

“Great.” I run a hand through my hair and reposition the dog to make her more visible. In a deep, slow voice, which I guess could be sexy in the right context, I read the stupid line of advice.

Bailey is wrinkling her nose at Ryan when I look over at them.

“What?” I bark.

“Maybe you could lean against the wall or something?” she says.

“What was wrong with that?”

She shrugs. “It was…uptight.”

---