Page 156 of Finance Bros

I step out of the way so they can talk.

“Great! Did you know Ryan was a student of mine during my year at PSU?”

“I wondered if the two of you crossed paths.” To me he says, “Norah was in my internship.”

“Oh yeah? That’s cool.” I say like she didn’t tell me that day one of this job.

“Would you mind a lot if I borrow Ryan for the day?” she asks him.

I stiffen at that. I’m not sure why the idea of spending the day working with her is such a threat, but it feels existential. There’s a reason I’ve been slow to commit to anything ongoing with Malcolm, and while Kaylin was a big part of it, Norah is arguably the bigger one.

Choosing between two people is one thing, but choosing between two entirely different lives is another. Up until very recently, my plans for the end of the summer hadn’t been in question. I was convinced what Mal and I were doing together would run its course. He’d freak out, get bored, or otherwise back away, and I relied on this back up plan to keep myself from feeling anything too deeply. It’s really only been in the last week or so that I’ve found myself leaning into him. Allowing myself to imagine a future with him at the center of it.

But that engagement ring—the reality of Norah. How safe she feels even now—when I know I’m not in love with her.

The truth is I’ve only ever been in love with the idea of her. The idea of starting over and leaving the past behind.

Mal is a risk. He’s like the living embodiment of risk. Hechanges his mind, he moves onto the next thing, he goes hard and gives up so fast it can make heads spin. I’m not even sure I’d call him stable. Not that I think he needs to be committed or anything, but if I only look at the last month—how he went from insulting me to attaching himself to me on the turn of a dime…

Don’t second guess him, I tell myself firmly. But the other voice in my head that’s staring at Norah is saying,don’t be an idiot.

“Sure—take him. Teach him something useful. As you know, you’re in good hands, Ryan.”

“Yeah,” I tell Charlie. “Thanks.”

Norah smiles up at me, her eyes shining. “Shall we?”

I swallow nervously and nod. As she walks, and I follow, I glance around the room, only to find Malcolm’s heavy-lidded aquamarine eyes trailing me. The look on his face puts me through a wringer of guilt. He’s got no idea who this is, but the next time I see him, he’ll have probably found out. And then what?

Meanwhile, Norah is speaking. “They gave me a tiny little office to set up in. I’m presenting at two. I don’t know if you’ll actually learn anything, but you can listen to me stress.”

I have to look away from Mal as I turn down a hallway with her. As soon as no one is around, she slips an arm around my waist and walks close. I reflexively do the same. “Good to see you,” she says.

“Sorry,” I say. “I’m just really surprised.”

“Good surprised, I hope.”

“Yeah, I mean…you look great.”

She laughs. “So do you. I’ve been watching your videos of course, but in person, it just takes it all up a notch.”

“Ha. Thanks.”

“Are you guys raking in the cash or what?”

“Kind of.”

“You think you’ll win?”

“I’m pretty sure.”

She lets out a subdued but excited squeal. “Isn’t that the best feeling? Not being a thirst trap—I know how you are—but winning?”

Thebestfeeling? I mean—it’s good. Who doesn’t love to win? But the best part of the challenge by far has been sharing it with Malcolm and Bailey, now Miguel. I’m honest with Norah. “It’s something I can see us doing long term. Helping one person at a time is great, and giving specialized attention, but building a community…”

“That’s what I loved about teaching,” Norah says. She lets go of me to open a door and gestures me into a tiny office with a sliver of a window. There’s a bookcase full of what looks like old ledgers covered in dust, a desk, and three chairs. Her laptop is on the desk along with her pink Stanley and a half-eaten protein bar. The déjà vu is strong.

“So,” she says, pulling a seat up next to hers and sitting. “Is Isla still terrorizing all the men? Tell me everything.”

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