Page 136 of Finance Bros

We’re filming our first episode tomorrow at Miguel’s. Our plan is solid, mostly introductory. Bailey and Miguel scripted the talking points, the intros and outros. We get to keep our shirts on.

With Kaylin coming home Wednesday, I’m going to need to start phasing Stephanie out. I’ve been thinking about getting another dog, but I’m also sort of preemptively mourning the loss of my bond with Stephanie. She’s grown on me these last few weeks. I understand her better now that I have an obsession of my own I’m constantly tracking and missing when he’s not in my sight.

I’ve been good about not bringing up Ryan’s plans for afterthe internship. We have about a month left, and maybe that seems far off for him, but to me, it feels like tomorrow. For my part, because I’ve had a less than stellar experience working at Marks & Baker, I don’t think I’m likely to be offered a job no matter how the challenge turns out, and if I were, I’m not likely to take it, which leaves me at yet another loss as to what comes next for me.

I’m all out of ideas. Although, if Ryan’s gone, what difference will it make whether I hate my job or not? What difference would anything make?

When I said that to Andrea yesterday, she pounced all over it, wanting to know if I was taking my meds or having any thoughts of harming myself.

I gave her two truths and a lie. Yes, I’m taking my meds. No, I’m not thinking of harming myself.I’m fine.

Still, I am looking forward to the podcast, so I tell him yes. “It should be fun.”

“It will be,” he says. “Now be a good friend.” He takes my hand off my own leg and puts it on the bulge in his sweats.

I feel like I should apologize again for neglecting his needs, but he doesn’t give me a chance. As soon as I’ve got my hand in his pants, he’s kissing me and fucking my fist, precum the only lube, and it’s not all that good for jerking someone off. He doesn’t seem to care. He keeps molesting my nipples and licking into my mouth like all is right in his world, and then he comes with a jolt and a soft series of groans against my lips.

It’s all so stupidly hot, I’ve got another semi thickening in my lap. Fuck, I can’t get enough of him. I need to figure this shit out or he and his Seattle lady friend are going to wind up with an unwanted roommate with a severe clinging problem. Hope she’s cool with sharing.

Ugh.I twist away from him and struggle my way out of the beanbag chair, bracing myself for a cold shower.

I should just ask him. I have three questions I need answers to, and I just need to ask them and get it over with. 1. Are you in love with me? 2. Are you leaving me? 3. Can we still be together no matter what?

The problem is the wrong answer to any one of those questions would nuke me.

I’m not expecting him to join me in the shower, so I don’t bother to lock the door, but he’s a minute behind me. “What?” I ask when he pulls the curtain shut.

“I just came in my pants.”

“Right.” I turn my back on him and let the cool water soak my face.

“It’s cold. Shit.” He wraps his arms around me from behind and I look down at all those tattoos crossed over my midsection. He’s so goddamn gorgeous. So fucking sexy. Strong and contained and smart. I never used to think of us as opposites until we were in high school when I did everything I could to differentiate myself from him.

And I guess it worked.

“I love you, Mal,” he says against my ear. His mouth there sends another wave of chills over me.

“I know,” I sigh.

“No,” he says, like he’s reading my mind. “I mean, I’m like—completely in love with you.”

My hands fly up, locking onto his wrists. “Is that…did you?”

“Sound familiar?”

“Are you fucking with me?Now?”

“I’m not fucking with you. And I’m not doped up either.”

“I mean, you just came…”

“How long after I come do I need to wait to talk to you then?” he asks.

“You don’t. I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting you to say that. Those particular words.”

“Hope it’s not a trigger or anything.”

“No,” I say quickly. “Definitely not. I didn’t know if I’d ever get to hear you say it again.”And I’ve needed to hear it more than I could possibly convey.

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