Page 33 of Finance Bros

“Yeah.”

“Oh my god, perfect.”

“Is that your best advice?”

“For a dollar? Yes.”

“I said fifty.”

“Fifty for all the work I still have to do.” He slides the round lollipop he’s been intermittently sucking between his lips and holds it in his cheek. It’s almost obscene to see him like that. He’s like fucking Lolita or something.

“Can you have some ideas for me by this weekend?” I ask, snapping out of it.

“For sure.”

“I’ll run your stitch idea by our other partner, but it makes sense.”

“The algorithm likes a stitch, and the kids love a battle. You’ll be like the financial Kendrick and Drake. I love it already.”

“And then we can do a YouTube, and people will watch it?”

“If you bring the dog.” He sucks the lollipop and removes it from his mouth.

“It’s not his dog. It’s his girlfriend’s.”

“Well, if he’s gotta compete withyou, he needs the dog.”

I snort. “Are you saying I’m hotter?”

“Muchhotter.”

“Right. Okay. I gotta run. I need to write some sexy financial takes.”

“See you tomorrow?”

“Yep.” I snatch back my phone and shove it in my pants pocket, then I grab my bag and go. I hate that I like this idea, but if it works—and I think it might, especially with Calyx’s help, we could make real money. One month to build a following, two months to monetize—it could happen. I just hope that after afew videos, Malcolm will loosen up. Maybe if no one’s watching him film, he can act more like himself. Because I don’t know who the fuck that guy with the little dog was last night.

For the first time since we were kids, I felt like I had the upper hand. Like he was the one reacting, being knocked back on his heels and reeling. Where was the cocksure asshole who tormented me for years? I mean—I could tell he was in there somewhere, but the malice wasn’t.

Is being around me still hard for him? Because it was nearly impossible for me.

I wasn’t thrilled to see Kaylin there—nothing against her—well, a little bit against her, because she was supposed to bemyfirst girlfriend, not his, and she certainly wasn’t supposed to last. Bailey’s presence saved it like I hoped it might. She made the evening bearable.

If I’m honest with myself,shewas probably the one rattling Malcolm. I could almost laugh thinking about it, but laughing and Malcolm rarely go together. Still, he and I used to laugh all the time. I’ve never laughed more with anyone than I once did with him, but those days are long over.

After a shower, I get to work at my desk writing out some short scripts to send over to him to read on camera. They’re quicker bites of easy to implement financial changes people can make, and per Calyx’s advice, I jot down some possible responses to each point, either elaborating, educating, or offering a quicker, better hack for people with a little more cash to risk. I also make a list of counterpoints in case conflict is what gets people off.

We’ll have to start testing this content sooner than later. I consider my cat who is lolling as usual with his cheek on the edge of my laptop and his body splayed belly up on the desk.

He’s been with me since I took him in as a stray in Portland my first year there, hiding him in my dorm and annoying myroommate with the litter box. There is no cat lazier or more malleable than Bud, who—I’m not proud to say—is named after marijuana. He used to like lying on my chest while I smoked in bed, enjoying the contact high I gave him.

He’s been stuck with catnip since I stopped smoking before grad school. He seems fine, but I’m convinced I destroyed half his brain. He’s a big, handsome tuxedo cat with white paws and a sleek black coat that sheds constantly. I go through so many lint rollers, I have them on subscription shipping. Love the cat, can’t stand the hair.

Once I’ve gotten a few short scripts written, I put them into a Google doc and share it with Bailey and Malcolm.

Bailey immediately enters the document and starts adding, editing, and moving things around. I have no arguments with any of her improvements. Mal’s icon appears at the top of the document, his cursor, too, but he doesn’t change a thing.

When Bailey begins communicating at the bottom of the document, however, there’s a vibe shift.

---