Page 41 of Feathers of Ash and Hope

That is when I realize it’s his magic. He’s healing me, and I was too distracted to stop him. I flinch.

Kyronos's eyes jump to mine. I scootch back, trying to put distance between his hands and my skin, and fall backward. I forgot I’m still sitting on his rolled-up bedding. He grabs my arm, steadying me.

At least he stopped healing me.

He inclines his head, watching me like I’m a puzzle he has to solve.Curious, intrigued, searching.

“Are you scared of healing?” His voice is soft, probing.

I shake my head and immediately wish I could take it back. That would have been a good reason to decline being healed.

“Just me, then?” His eyes crinkle, and a smile tugs at one side of his mouth. “Hmm.” There is too much resonating in that little sound for me to catch it.

Yes, I’m scared … I’m terrified of what I could do to him. This whole situation is my worst nightmare, and on top of it all, my brain stops working around him.

I need to get out of here. I can’t deal with this if I can’t think. So I go for the most obvious course of action: ignore the problem. I grab my shirt.

“Thank you. Like you said, nothing serious. It will heal on its own.” I flash him what I hope is a reassuring smile. “No need to drain your gift for that.” I shrug and wait for him to release my arm, but he doesn’t. The eyes examining my face look stormy, but his voice is calm and cool.

“I never said it wasn’t serious. And I will heal you, even if I have to hold you down to do it.” He doesn’t sound like he’s joking.

“Why?” I ask.

“I already lost enough recruits on this trip. I will not add another one because of an infection I can prevent.” His determination would be admirable if it weren’t so damn inconvenient.

“You doused it in enough cleansing stuff. Just bandage it, and I’ll be fine.” I try again.

“Cleansing stuff,” he repeats. “That certainly sounds like you’re the expert here.” I open my mouth, but it’s not like I can tell him I’m familiar with letting wounds heal on their own. Mymother or Luc would never accept that on anyone but me. So I stay silent.

“Sweat seeping into it, movement, the bandages rubbing, your pack pulling it apart. Even if you don’t get an infection from that, it will scar. Why risk it if I can fix it in minutes?”

And just like that, I can’t argue against it without sounding stubborn or stupid, and he doesn’t look like he’ll back down either. Why does he even care?

I eye the trees around us before I slump and nod.

I’ll deal with it. If I have to run, I run.

His fingers are back on my skin, and the tingling warmth seeps into me, gaining intensity.

Something inside me responds to the warmth, and I close my eyes—afraid he will see what is going on. A coolness snakes up inside me, slithering around his warmth and smothers it like an unwanted fire.

I can’t let him deplete himself. Once he gets weaker, I’ll push him away, and the connection should snap.

I will get away.

The curse is expanding, growing, drinking up the golden warmth Tate pours into me. I’m furious at this part of me that has overshadowed my life, endangered my family, and now takes my freedom and choice as well. I will be hunted. I will have to hide and run all my life. And what if the king goes after my family as well?

The silvery coolness grows and grows, winding so tight around the golden light that it’s barely shining through by now.

Realization hits me. I can’t spare him. Everyone will know what I am if I leave him weakened and drained.

Desperation and anger course through me, so potent I can nearly taste it, and I direct it at the silver beast responsible for my misery.

It strikes, and the beast falters.

I gasp, my eyes flying open. Kyronos looks at me questioningly. Shit. I close my eyes again, concentrating on the fight waging inside me, hoping he won’t ask questions I can’t answer.

I picture the coolness as a snake, grabbing it behind its head, I squeeze, demanding it to let go. Having an image turns it from something slippery and evasive into something I can hold onto. It fights and tries to wriggle away, but I clamp down tight and tug. Pulling it away from the warmth, I push it down into my core, where it can’t touch his magic. It resists like a living thing, slips away again and again, but I catch it before it can reach Kyronos's magic. Letting it win is not an option.

---