Page 122 of Feathers of Ash and Hope

“Now that I know, I promise I won’t heal you while you are unconscious, but I need you to promise me to never choose your own death so carelessly again.” He shakes his head at me. “The moment you lunged for that dagger…fuck, sunshine, I would rather walk the mists than experience that ever again.”

He looks so haunted. I want to reassure him so badly, but I can’t.

“I owe it to them, Tate,” I say softly. “To my family.”

“So you are willing to die for them, but not live…” He breaks off and turns away. “Never mind…Daeva is on her way, and we need to get back anyway.”

“They sacrificed so much for me.” I try to make him understand.

“Ara, I see those things differently. I think we all make our decisions, and we are not responsible or indebted to others just because they happened to make the right one. I will not pressure you into making the decisions I think are the right ones. It’s your life. I just beg you not to throw it away too easily, okay?”

I nod, stunned by his sudden outburst.

Tate falls into a broody silence after that.

“Are you close to your family?” I ask Tate, and I’m relieved when he turns to me instead of ignoring me.

“I consider Jared and Nan, his mother, my family, so yes. Otherwise, it would be a no.” He gives me a small smile. “How was growing up with four brothers?”

“Mine take overprotectiveness to a whole new level,” I grumble. “One of the reasons I’m so good at climbing. It was easier to climb out than convince them to let me go out.”

“So they scared off all your admirers?”

“Believe me, every guy ran the other way as soon as they knew who I was,” I answer dryly.

“Cassius, too?”

“Joel?” My eyebrows jump up. “What do you mean?”

“Were you ever… together?”

I snort, and his mouth twitches.“I had a crush on him, but he always treated me like a sister,” I tell him. That answer is met with silence, and for the hundredth time, I wish he was easier to read.

“So if it isn’t Cassius, is there someone else?” Tate’s question sounds casual, but my stomach suddenly feels like one of the birds did a nose dive.

I grin.

“Centurion Kyronos, are you working up to asking me out?” I tease, while Daeva lands right next to us, raising a cloud of dust. I close my eyes to shield them, and a shiver runs down my back when I open them, only to find Tate right next to me.

“If you accept an afternoon ride on Daeva as a date, I am.” He shrugs, but his gaze is intense. “Otherwise, you would have to wait until after Picking.”

I grin up at him.

“I do accept,” I say, and my words turn into laughter when Tate simply picks me up and lifts me onto Daeva’s back. He gets up behind me, and the way his body presses against mine causes heat to spread through my veins and tingles to race over my skin. His chest is warm and solid behind me, and I let myself relax into him. I look at him over my shoulder.

“I have been accused of getting others into trouble, so consider yourself warned.”

He snorts.

“Tell me something new. And who says that I don’t like trouble?”

Chapter

Thirty-Five

TATE

The next twoweeks are pure torture. With Ara coming closer to Picking and me being on long patrols twice, we don’t see each other for days, and then only while passing in the hallway. We are limited to superficial conversations and easy smiles again, when all I want is to be alone with her.

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