Page 30 of Feathers of Ash and Hope

“I … uhm … just … never mind,” I mumble, having no idea how to explainthat.

Calix shakes his head and grins at me.

He will either start asking questions soon or decide I’m crazy.

I’m sure of it.

During two other near misses, I duck behind Mariel, pretending to tie my shoe and slip into an empty classroom when Joel comes down the hallway.

The fact that I managed to avoid him so far should calm me down, but it doesn’t. It’s like I’ve already heard the thunder and am waiting for the lightning to strike. I know it’ll happen. I just don’t know when and how.

Two days later, I run out of luck.

It happens while I hurry down an empty hallway. A door opens, and someone steps out right in front of me.I look up.

Dammit.

“Ara?” Joel's eyes widen.

Chapter

Nine

ARA

Consideringhe’s my squadron leader, I guess I have to be proud I made it this long without coming face-to-face with him. And the hope he wouldn’t recognize me was more wishful thinking.

Joel Cassius blinks his beautiful brown eyes at me as if he hopes I will disappear if he keeps it up. He pulls me into the room he just stepped out of. It seems to be some kind of storage room. Rolled-up maps and boxes fill the shelves that occupy all the walls and are even piled on a small table, which makes it a rather cramped space.

He closes the door behind him and leans against it, effectively trapping me in the room with him.

“What are you doing here?” His eyes travel from my boots up my body and end at the cap on my head. I’m very aware of just how unflattering this uniform is.

“Uh, you pulled me in here,” I joke, but he doesn’t seem to appreciate my humor. His eyes linger on my hair.

“What have you done to your hair?” He sounds shocked. His fingers graze my neck when he grasps the short strands that always escape my braid.

I’m suddenly too aware of his closeness and of just how broad his shoulders have become. The place his fingers touched is still tingling.

Dammit, not helping.

“Just braided up.” I shrug. “Sloan stopped me from cutting it.”

“Thank the gods, she was always the reasonable one,” he says.

My gut twists. So that makes me the reckless, stupid one. The annoying little girl who always ran after her brothers.

I cross my arms and take a step back.

“I should set you on the next carriage home,” he grumbles, and I can only stare. Is he serious? Does he think he can get rid of me that easily?

“Since you've made the vow, they'll count it as desertion, but you’re here under a false name…” he goes on, ignoring my glare. “No one will be looking for a girl, or better yet, we’ll write Dar—”

“What? No!” I shout.

“Ara.” He sighs. “This isn't a game.” He says it like I’m a little kid who decided to play soldier for a while. I grind my teeth.

When he sees my face, he throws up his hands. “You could get hurt, and Ben will kill me if he finds out…” His eyes grow even wider. “Wait, where do your brothers think you are?”

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