Page 17 of The Seascape Between Us

“Something like that,” I muttered. A sick feeling had settled in my stomach, and I desperately searched for something to change the subject, but the old man pressed on.

“Well, you must have come back for something you liked.” Sullivan waggled his thick, wiry brows, a knowing grin curling his mouth.

“No,” Daniel said quickly. “It’s not like that. Grey is investing in the hotel.”

True, even if he’d left out a few facts.

“That’s wonderful,” Sullivan said. “That old hotel has always been an important part of Oceanwind Square. It’s been here nearly as long as me. When Ramona was running the place and this one’s mother,” he nodded at Daniel, “it had been something to behold. Booked solid months in advance all summer long. Daniel’s done the best he could, of course, given the circumstances. But it’s good he’ll have help now.”

For a second, I wondered what circumstances he meant. I assumed he meant Ramona getting sick and Daniel having to take over so young. He wouldn’t have known what the hell he was doing, and that was probably why the hotel had been bleeding money for years.

The red in Daniel’s cheeks deepened, and I couldn’t tell if he was embarrassed or annoyed, maybe both.

With the blind having been securely installed, Daniel climbed down the stepladder and folded it up.

“All done,” he said. “This will be easier, and no cords for Prince to chew. You just lift the blind like this.” He demonstrated by gripping the bottom frame and pushing the blind up, then pulling it back down again.

“Wonderful, Daniel, thank you,” Mr. Sullivan said. “You’ve always been a good kid. What do I owe you?”

“Nothing. I had an extra lying around the hotel that I didn’t need,” he lied.

“Well, we should get going. We have a few more stops to make.”

We said our goodbyes, and once back at the truck, Daniel loaded the ladder and his toolbox into the back. I hesitated a moment before climbing into the passenger seat. “You didn’t tell him my last name.”

Daniel shrugged. “Sullivan is almost ninety. He knew your father and Sean. If he knew you were Oliver’s son, he’d want to talk to you about your father. I wasn’t sure if you’d want that.”

I’d forgotten how thoughtful Daniel could be, how careful he was with the feelings of others. It only made how things ended between us more confusing. A sudden wave of sadness rolled through me.

Maybe the way things ended between us was more on me than on Daniel. After all, we’d never really had the big "are-we-exclusive" or "where-is-this-relationship-going" talk. I’d been head over heels for him, and I assumed he felt the same. When I mentioned staying in The Square and transferring to Bayside University, he seemed genuinely excited about the idea. Maybe he was—but maybe it never occurred to me that he wouldn’t be okay with seeing other people. We were both so fucking young.

After climbing back into the truck, Daniel continued making the rest of his deliveries, even taking us past my father’s old house. Sweat bloomed on my back as we drove by, my heart rate kicking up.

A little less than a year ago, I’d met Finn outside this house. Even then, I hadn’t been able to bring myself to go inside. It shouldn’t bother me as much as it did. For nearly fifteen years, my father and I barely spoke, and what was already a strained relationship had turned non-existent. So why, then, did just the prospect of going inside that house turn my insides cold?

Daniel made his last delivery, turned the car around and started back the way we’d come. Unfortunately, making another pass by my father’s house.

“I heard you found him,” I said, keeping my attention on the house outside the window. I felt rather than saw Daniel glance my way.

“Yes, I did.”

“How did that come about?” I knew what my father thought about Daniel, so I had no idea why he would have been in my father’s house to have found his body crumpled on the floor in the hallway by the front door.

“I delivered to him, too,” Daniel said. “After Sean passed away, your father didn’t go out much.”

“Was he some kind of shut-in?” Somehow, I couldn’t picture it. Oliver Mackenzie had been a man who’d prided himself on getting involved. He’d been instrumental in developing Oceanwind Square as an LGBTQIA+ community. He’d been a civics professor at the university, a town councillor for Saltwater Cove and an activist. That man didn’t sound anything like someone who stayed inside and had his groceries delivered.

“Kind of,” Daniel said slowly, choosing his words carefully. “So many people knew him here, in The Square. Hell, even people who didn’t know him felt like they did with everything he was involved in. I think it was hard for him after Sean died. People wanted to tell him how sorry they were, ask him how he was doing. He didn’t want to talk about any of that with anyone, so he stayed home. Then I think it was just easier for him to be alone than to be with people.”

I hated the guilt Daniel’s words lit inside me. Why should I feel guilty? I didn’t push my father away he pushed me away. Every time I’d reached out, he turned away, so I stopped reaching out.

I wasn’tCharlie Brown. I wasn’t going to keep kicking at a football that kept getting pulled away.

My father had pushed me away, and so I gave him what he wanted. I shouldn’t feel guilty because he’d died alone in his stupid house overlooking the community he loved more than his son. So why did I?

Maybe it was just the thought of him, alone and dead on the floor from an aneurysm. How long would he have gone undiscovered had Daniel not been bringing him his groceries? God, that was a depressing thought.

Daniel pulled into the hotel parking lot, and I did my best to shove thoughts of my father to the far corners of my mind. Once he shut off the engine, we both climbed out, and he came around to my side of the truck.

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