Page 110 of Bourbon and Secrets

She shakes her head and takes a sip of her tea. “He had a life and family he needed to be there for. They needed him more than I did.”

“He told me to tell you that he thinks about you every day,” I say.

Her eyes water all over again. She dabs at the corners with her napkin. “Bea picked Montana. Middle of nowhere, but she picked a place where I can ride a horse instead of drive a car if I want.” She laughs lightly, smiling. “She comes off harsh, but she knew it would be a good place for me. When I got here, I was in bad shape. I had a lot of healing to do.” She bites back the emotion as she says, “Guilt for leaving. And never having the chance to tell you both how much I loved you.”

I swipe away the tears and take a steadying breath.

“The horse sanctuary I’ve opened has become a place of healing. For me and for a number of women who need to find their footing again. I was here for about a month, and when I went to the bank to open an account, there had already been one opened there under my new name. It had just over a quarter of a million dollars in it.”

Maggie guesses what I’m thinking. “Griz.”

Mom smiles and nods. “That was my guess. He’s the best man I’ve ever known. We had six months together, and it was the most I ever felt love from a partner before. That feeling, once you have it, you feel lucky for it.” Quiet for a moment, she sits back and looks out the window. “And Bea has been a good friend when I need a familiar face. It’s simple and calm, but I have a good life here. As good as it can be without my beautiful daughters. I’ll never forgive myself for allowing my mess to bleed into your lives.”

I swipe away the tears that just keep coming. “I never thought I’d have this with you—another minute to tell you I love you and that I’ve missed you.” I look over at the clock, recognizing that we’ve more than exceeded the time Bea Harper had laid out for us.

“I saw you once,” my mom says, drawing my attention back. “On stage in a club in Louisiana.”

“Mom...” I never thought she would have seen me dance like that. And I’m not embarrassed, more proud than anything.

“The one thing you never knew, Faye. That I never had the chance to tell you.” She holds my hand and the lull of her voice makes me want to savor every moment of this. “I’m so proud of the woman you’ve become. The way you look dancing is the way I feel about training horses. It makes up a part of you. Not defines, but molds, and makes us stronger. Finding things that make you feel like the best version of yourself is the kind of life I always hoped for you. And private investigating...” She smiles to herself. “You’re a protector, a fixer, and that was bound to shine through somewhere.”

The affirmation isn’t something I thought I needed, but it hits my chest like a freight train.

A clank on the window has the three of us jumping. Bea stands there as she points at her watch. She calls out loud enough to hear through the glass and quiet of the outside. “Time to go.”

Chapter 41

Lincoln

I suckin a deep breath as I push open the barn doors and walk through to where I’ve made myself a makeshift workspace. I’ve been distracted and half listening to just about everyone that stepped in my path. Somehow, I volunteered to run a PTA event I have no business participating in. I fucked up a mash bill so badly that the entire distillery smelled like burnt hair for three days. And all of it is because of the one thing I had decided I’d never do again: fall in love with a woman.Fuck, I miss her.How could I miss someone so much that I’ve only known for a short time?

And then when Lark asked,“I thought Faye was going to come over for dinner this week.”I damn near lost it trying to explain that she had to go away for a little while and I wasn’t sure when she would be back.Ifshe would be back. I’ve sent text messages and left voicemails, telling her I miss her, but nothing has been read or returned. I don’t know where she is or if she’ssafe and that chews away at me every night when my arms feel empty without her in them.

“Dad,” Lily laughs out. “I think she likes the bows in her hair. She’s smiling.” The cow is definitely not smiling, but she’s well-tempered and lets Lily put bows in her hair while Lark brushes her hide.

I walk over to the stall with Dottie’s name over the top and smile at what I’m witnessing.

I look between them—Lily and Lark, and then the two newest Foxx girls, Kit and Dottie. A cow and a dog. I can’t help the smile the sight pulls from me. Fixing my glasses, I say, “I didn’t know what you two were thinking when you decided to bring home these two furry creatures. But I get it—you both have big hearts. You make everyone in this family smile and feel so loved.”

Lark looks around the barn space, toward the empty stalls and then back to me. Her eyes water when she says, “We wanted you to be happy. You said that the happiest you’ve ever been was when we were happy, Dad.”

I smile. “And are you?”

Lily smiles wide. “Dad. If this is about you telling us that you love Faye, then we already know that.”

I hadn’t thought through the idea of them just being okay with me loving someone new already. If it’s been fast for me, then it’s bound to feel the same for them.

I shift and look at Lark, and she smiles. “You’d have to be blind not to see it, Dad. You love her, right?”

I look up at the rafters and suck in a breath. “Yeah, Lark, I do. I love her a whole lot.”

Lily points at me and says, “I knew it. The moment I saw our soulmate marks and those diamonds near her eyes, I knew it. Dad, did you know her middle name was Rose?”

Actually, I didn’t.

“Hello?” Lily says, throwing her arms up. “Her middle name is a flower. Soulmate!”

I bark out a laugh. “So wise, Lil.” I don’t try to keep the welled tears from falling. “I’ve

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