Page 57 of Tameron

So I clenched my fists and smiled through the pain that was tearing me up on the inside. “Couldn’t be happier for you guys. I’ll be fine, I promise.”

“Will you be taking in new people, Nash?” Creek asked.

Nash shrugged, his eyes still glued to me. “Don’t know yet. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.”

“I was asking because my brother may be interested.”

That got Nash’s attention, and he whipped his head to face Creek. “Forest? Your brother Forest?”

“Yeah. I told you he’s moving here, and well, he’s struggling to find affordable housing on a teacher’s salary. I figured he could take over my room.”

“Oh. Right. Of course. I mean, I’ll think about that, okay? I will let you know. Or him. Whichever you prefer.”

I blinked. What the hell was wrong with Nash? Maybe he was more affected by Creek and Bean leaving than I had realized. At least we had that in common.

“Sure,” Creek said, looking a little baffled by Nash’s reaction. “Whatever you want, Top.”

“What did you want to tell us?” Nash then asked me as if he were desperate to change the topic. “Before Bean made his announcement, you said you had something to share.”

“Did I take away your moment?” Bean looked horrified. “If I did, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I was just so excited to share my news.”

I waved his apology away. “All good. You deserved the spotlight.”

“But what did you want to say?” Creek asked, looking curious.

Stop shutting everyone out.Easier said than done under these circumstances. They were moving on with their lives, as they should, and of course I was happy for them.

And Nash would move on too. He was already finding his footing in his job and loving it. It would only be a matter of time before he found love, and I’d be the one left behind. Maybe I should start looking for somewhere else to live because I didn’t want to become a hindrance to Nash living his best life. The man had an overinflated sense of responsibility and he’d insist on taking care of me to the point where it would come at the price of his own happiness. Hell if I was gonna let that happen.

So I plastered on a smile and waved my hand dismissively. “It wasn’t important. Let’s focus on the future. I wish you guys all the happiness in the world as you start the next phase of your lives.”

“We still want to be there for you,” Creek said, in itself a testament to how Heath had changed him because those were not words he would’ve uttered before.

I smiled at him, at everyone. “I know. Like Nash said, it’s all good.”

It would have to be.

‘We use topicalization for emphasis, expediency, or clarification.’

I had a hard time following my teacher as he reminded me of some aspects of ASL grammar. I’d been told there would be atime when I’d become so fluent in ASL that I wouldn’t have to translate in my head when I was using ASL, but I was nowhere near that point yet. I had about a second delay in processing what he was signing, so I was constantly behind, trying to catch up. It was exhausting.

Yes, I was improving, but not at the rate I had expected. My teacher had told me it was because I wasn’t practicing enough. He’d all but ordered me to spend more time with Deaf people, so I’d be forced to use ASL. He was right that I relied on my hearing aids, but it was scary to let go of that comfort, of that backup. But if I didn’t, would I ever become proficient enough in ASL?

I forced myself to refocus on my teacher, who was now explaining that my word order kept favoring English instead of ASL. And I understood. I really did, but it was still hard to replace one with the other. My brain wasn’t wired for languages. And it wasn’t that I was messing it up. It was his impatience with me.

The disappointed look when I signed, ‘I lost my phone at the store yesterday,’ hit me. He made me feel like I was never going to get this right. I just needed to remember that his impatience and disappointment weren’t the norm. Dayton was always kind about it. And so was Dax.

I wasn’t a failure. I just needed more time.

Luckily, he called it quits a little early. Apparently, he had a funeral to attend, which sucked for him but was good news for me because my brain was mush. I debated canceling on Dax, who had finally managed to convince me to head over to his shop, but I really did not want to be that person. I was a man of my word, and so I’d suck it up.

Look, this week sucked anyway. Ever since I’d learned that Creek and Bean would be moving out soon, this dark cloud had settled over me. It would lift again at some point, but I was allowed to be sad about it, right? Or even pissed off. In fact, Nashhad told me as much that same night, stopping by my room. Being angry was normal, he’d assured me. Glad to hear there was at least one normal thing in my life.

The drive to Dax’s shop took longer than expected due to heavy traffic, but I finally made it. When I stepped into the reception area, flashing lights went off everywhere. Moments later, a guy popped up, dressed in dark-blue oil-stained coveralls, wiping his hands off on a cloth that couldn’t be dirtier if it had been black.

“Hi,” he said. “Can I help you?”

‘I’m a friend of Dax,’ I signed.

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