Page 69 of Tameron

“Have you asked him what he wants?”

I shook my head. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because what if he wants more?” The words burst out of me. “What if he wants a real relationship? I can’t… I can’t give him that. Not now. Not like this.”

Nash’s expression softened. “Why not?”

“Because I’m not ready. I’m still figuring out who I am, what I want, where I belong. I can’t drag him into that mess.”

“Maybe he wants to be dragged in.”

I buried my face in my hands. “He deserves better.”

“That’s not your decision to make.” Nash’s voice was gentle but firm. “You don’t get to decide what he deserves or wants. That’s his choice.”

“But—”

“No buts. You’re doing that thing again, where you make decisions for other people because you think you know what’s best for them. For the record, you don’t. You have to learn to let others in, to allow them to help you.”

“Easy for you to say,” I muttered. “You’ve got your shit together. New job you love, making new friends…”

“You think I’m not scared shitless?” Nash’s voice was sharp. “You think I’m not terrified that I’m gonna fuck this up? That I’ll lose you guys now that you don’t need me anymore?”

That made me look up. “What?”

“You heard me.” Nash dragged a hand through his hair. “I built my whole identity around taking care of you guys. What happens when you all move on? When you don’t need me anymore?”

“We’ll always need you.”

“Will you? Bean’s getting married. Creek’s moving in with Heath. And you…” He hesitated. “You’ve got Dayton now.”

“I don’t have Dayton,” I protested. “We’re just…”

“I swear to all that’s holy, if you say ‘just friends’ one more time, I will kick your ass.”

It was hard to be angry with him when he’d bared his soul to me. “Is that really what you’re afraid of? Losing us?”

“More than anything else.”

I’d never considered that, never realized that the dependence we had, for lack of a better word, went both ways. “I hope you know how much we appreciate you. Love you. How much I love you.”

Jesus, I damn near choked up there at the end, saying those words that should be so simple yet were so hard to get out.

“On my good days, I know. But on my bad days, on days like you’re having right now, it’s mighty easy to lose sight of that. To focus on what I’ve lost instead of what I’ve gained. On what could’ve been instead of what is and will be. On the past instead of the present and the future.” He reached over the table and put his hand on mine in an uncharacteristically sappy gesture. “And I love you too, Tameron. Which is why I’m telling you that you can do this. You can get through this. But you can’t do it alone…and you don’t have to. We’re here. Creek, Bean, Dayton, me. We’re here. Lean on us. Please.”

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

TAMERON

I didn’t like people. There were a handful of people in my life I loved, a few more I respected, and a hell of a lot I tolerated. Which was why I wasn’t exactly excited about my first group therapy session. Hell, I had worked really, really hard my entire life to avoid exactly this, yet here I was, stuck in a muggy room with seven other people.

Most of them looked happy to be here, which I found disturbing. You weren’t supposed to like group therapy. In fact, I was pretty sure there had to be a universal law somewhere that said you should resent the fuck out of it. No offense, but people who liked it were…weird.

“Welcome, everyone,” the therapist said. Her name was Dr. Chen, and she had kind eyes behind her glasses. “Since we have two new people added to the group, let’s start with introductions. Who would like to go first?”

Several hands shot up eagerly. Jesus Christ, what was wrong with these people?

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