Page 79 of Tell Me You Love Me

I know him better than he knows himself.

“We’ve already lost ten years,” he groans. “And I can still see the no in your eyes. But why won’t you just try?” He crushes a demanding kiss against my lips. “Why can’t we just try?”

“Mom?” Franky steps onto the porch with the bleating alarm of my phone playing in the air. “It’s time to go.”

I startle back and hit the wall, fresh tears spilling onto my cheeks. I reach up and swipe my face clear.Again. So damn often when it comes to this man.

“Lana—”

“I have to go.” I smooth his shirt down, flattening the wrinkle that sits over his heart. Then I wipe my eyes again and take a step away. Then another. “Thank you for dinner. And for dessert.”

He grabs my wrist, but his grip is gentle. It’s a request, not a demand. And when I shake my arm free, he releases me again.

“Thank you for a lovely night. And for playing apropergame of chess, so my son isn’t forced to hate you. He wants to beat you fairly. Not because you messed up the board.”

“Mom?”

“I’m coming, honey.” I wipe my nose and tidy my hair, and stealing one last glance back at the man whose eyes turn just a little darker, a little less free every time I walk away, I try to offer him a small smile. A shitty consolation prize, really. “I promise not to hurt your future hoe.”

He lays his broad hand over his pounding heart.

It aches, I know.

“I promise to pretend to be happy for you. And maybe, eventually, I’llactually mean it. By then, you’ll be happier, too, and that’s all I ever wanted for you.”

“Say the words.” His lips tremble. “Lie to me.”

I stop, my knees shaking and my heart stalling. Then, drawing a long breath until it fills my chest and leaves my lungs in pain, I destroy all the progress I’ve made and charge back in his direction, crashing against his powerful body and squeezing him in a hug like he’s just a boy again, and I’m just a girl. He needs confirmation that he matters. That he’s worthy. He needs to be told he’s loved.And dammit, I do. “I love you, Tommy. I willalwayslove you.”

He crushes me in his arms, kissing my hair and breathing me in until I know he’s hoarding what he can. Like he knows this is goodbye.

I’ll still be around tomorrow, and so will he. We won’t have changed, really. But we need to try.

Ineed to try.

“I’ve loved you since the moment I first laid eyes on you.” I kiss his chest, right where he has my ink embedded in his skin. The date we met, way back in elementary school. It was chaotic back then, too. Loud and messy. We argued more than we talked, and we made hating each other an art form.

But there was no one I would have protected more. And there wasn’t a single moment in history I doubted his devotion to me.

“This will take time.” I sniffle. “We have to learn how to walk again. To exist. We have to learn how tobe, but without being in love.”

“Not sure I’m gonna be able to do it.” Swallowing, he leans back and slides his hands to my cheeks. “You keep putting these rules between us, expecting me to abide by them. But I don’t wanna.”

“A kid would eat chocolate cake for every meal if they could. Sometimes, rules are in place for a reason.”

“You’re gonna mother me now?” He attempts a smile, ignoring the fact that it shudders. “Can’t say I’ve ever had a mommy kink, but if that’s the game you wanna play, then I suppose I could let you pour my milk and tuck me into bed each night.”

“You’re a freak.” I tap his stomach and laugh when his breath comes out in a sweet chuckle. “If mothering you is what has to happen to ensure your best future, then that’s what I’ll do.”

“Mom?! The timer went off!”

“Oh, my gosh. I’m coming, honey.” I swipe my cheeks and search Tommy’s beautiful hazel eyes in the waning light.Has he even noticed yetthat my son’s are the same? “Maybe I’ll see you at the bookstore’s grand reopening in a few days.”

He scoffs. “I’ll come find you tomorrow. You forget, Iwantchocolate cake.”

“Such a pain.” I wave him off and walk around the side of the house, drawing Franky’s gaze when I step into view. He waits by the door, scowling his displeasure. “Sorry, honey. I was talking to Tommy, and he wouldn’t stop yammering.”

Tommy snickers, the soft sound tickling the back of my neck. Because, of course, he’s nearby.How could I expect any different?

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