Page 31 of Knot Your Damsel

Vera

My stomach rollsas my heart races, while I try to make sense of what Mathew just said, while I try to make sense of his past.

From his family getting murdered right in front of his eyes, to living on the streets, to working in what sounds like an illegal brothel, to killing the head of an organisation and then taking the man’s place.

No wonder his eyes are so dark, no wonder he looked so scared, so troubled. No wonder he doesn’t have anyone around him that he trusts to let that close. No wonder he looks so lonely.

As if in a daze, I walk over to him and wrap my arms around him, trying to claim him with my pheromones, trying to rub as much of them onto him as I can, trying to erase his bad past.

“Aren’t you disgusted? Scared?” Mathew’s arms are limp at his sides, not moving, his voice without energy.

“Of you? Never.” I look up, trying to catch his gaze but he’s got his eyes closed.

“What should I be scared of? That you killed some bastard? So have I. That you were mistreated? Why should I be scared of you because of that? The fuckers who did that to you should be scared of me instead.” I reach for his face, running my fingers along his jaw.

“Why should I be scared of you?” I keep my voice low and he finally opens his beautiful dark eyes.

“I could kill you in a fit of rage.” He finally moves, wrapping his arms around me, keeping his touch light, as if he’s ready for me to break away from him at any moment. “If I’m lost in one of those dark moments, I could hurt you.”

“So, what?” I put my head against his chest, embracing him, leaning against him, trying to let him know that I’m not going anywhere. “So can I. It doesn’t make you special.”

His arms tighten around me and he lets out a soft snort. As I look up at him, he’s smiling, though he’s trying to fight against it. “It doesn’t make me special?”

“No.” I kiss his chest.

“Then, what does make me special?” He nuzzles the top of my head.

“That you’re mine. What else would be important?”

“Nothing.” He breathes into my hair, softly laughing. “Nothing at all, my little Omega.”

I grin, glancing at Caleb, who’s standing to the side, keeping an eye on us but also an eye on our surroundings, clearly on edge.

Mathew notices my attention shifting and also looks at Caleb, his body tensing slightly. “What about you? Are you scared of me?”

Caleb smiles slightly. “Only because you can break her heart, and how much of a shame it would be to have to kill you when that happens.”

“Caleb!” For fuck’s sake, he doesn’t have to say that after what Mathew just told us!

“I won’t.” Mathew’s voice is strong. “I won’t hurt her. Ever.” Then he smirks at me, his lip rings blinking in the overhead light. “Unless she begs for it.”

“Mathew!” I pinch his nipple and break out of his arms as he lets out a surprised squeak. Not that the image isn’t tempting, but this really isn’t the time for that. “You two are bad! This isn’t… It’s wrong to talk like that after what just happened.”

Mathew eyes me, looking calm but also curious, much more at ease than I’ve seen him all day. “What would you like to talk about? Do you want details about certain aspects of my life? I can give details if you want.”

“No.” I shake my head. “I don’t need details. I don’t want… I don’t want them.” I’m fine knowing what situations he was in, without going into details. I’m pretty sure that what he’d tell me would be worse than what my mind can come up with by itself. Right now, I’m fine not knowing details.

“Then, whatdoyou want to know?” His voice softens and he pulls me along to the couch, pulling me into his lap as he sits down.

Caleb sits next to us, one arm over the back of the couch over Mathew’s shoulders and the other one resting in my lap. “That night…” Caleb’s voice is low, careful. “Is that when you lost your ability to perfume? Was it drugs, or something else?”

Mathew lets out a slow breath, putting his head on my shoulder as he shakes it. “It wasn’t drugs. That’s all we know for sure. I’ve gone to see doctors and they told me that my pheromones are probably out of whack because of the trauma from that night. No medication has helped yet and, after the initial shock, I’m kind of glad that I don’t perfume. It does make running the organisation easier.”

I run my fingers through his long hair. It’s so soft and smooth and he seems to relax against me more when I play with it. “Do you respond differently to other people’s pheromones? I know that can be a thing with trauma, that it can get triggered like that.”

“Not as far as I know. I might be less responsive to Alpha and Beta pheromones, but that can also just be me. I don’t know if that’s because of my issues or because I’ve always been like that and I’m just too headstrong.” His soft laugh tickles my skin and I can’t stop my own smile.

“Nothing else?” Caleb’s voice is quiet as he leans closer. “Anything else we need to know?”

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