‘I thought I was.’Ripley inspected her fingernails.‘This sand is a pain in the ass.You get any on you?’
‘No, but I didn’t throw anyone into a sand hole.’
‘He fell in there.’
‘Because you hit him with a shovel,’ Ella said.‘See?That’s not normal.’
‘True.I suppose consulting has its perks.I can pick my cases.I don’t have to fill out those stupid TPS reports.And I can tell bureaucrats to shove it whenever I want.’
Ella nodded in appreciation.‘You did that anyway.’
‘True.’Ripley conceded with a half-smile.‘But I don’t know.On that beach, hitting those assholes with that shovel, I should have felt disgusted.But I didn’t.The world manufactures monsters faster than we can cage them.For every Nathan Taylor we stop, three more are forming right now.’
‘You always told me we couldn’t save everybody.’
‘And I stand by it, but saving one person is better than no people.Max deserves to grow up in a world where someone is still willing to hold the line.Even when it seems pointless.Especially then.My son will be happy if I go back to work.He’s worried that I’ll move in permanently.’
‘What if-’ Ella started, then paused, recalibrating.The terminal’s ambient noise provided convenient cover for the vulnerability in her tone.‘What if next time, the shovel’s in someone else’s hands?’
‘Thirty years and no one’s beaten me yet.’
‘Fair point.Won’t you miss seeing your family, doing your garden, yoga, whatever.’
‘I’ll see my family the same amount as I would if I was retired.I used to think that doing this job kept me away from them, but now I realize I was doing itforthem all along.’
‘But you’re not getting any younger.’
‘Neither are you,’ Ripley laughed.‘Speaking of, what happens whenyouhave kids, Dark?’
The way Ripley phrased it suggested it was a sure thing.She’d never pictured herself as the maternal type.Her job consumed too much, demanded too much.She sometimes wondered if there was enough of her left over for a child.Luca wanted kids someday, she knew that much.The thought terrified and enticed her in equal measure.
‘If it happened, I’d quit.’
‘Would you?’
‘Yeah, but that’s easy for me to say.I’m no expert, but I think being a parent – or grandparent – is one of those things you have to experience to understand.I reckon you could read every manual in the world on raising kids and still not know jack about it until you’ve lived it.’
‘You’re wise for a childless cat woman.’
Ella laughed despite herself.She tried to imagine what her life might look like in twenty years if she stayed this course.Would she end up like Ripley, tough as old leather but still capable of tenderness?Or like Frank Sullivan, obsessing over unsolved cases long after retiring?Or like Edis, whose family existed only as framed photos on a desk?
‘I do want a life beyond the Bureau,’ Ella admitted.‘I’m just not sure what that looks like yet.’
‘Well, don’t sweat it.Robert Lawrence – or whatever his name was – was wrong.An unfinished story can be a good thing.It just means you’re still on the journey.’
The airport PA system crackled to life.‘Attention passengers: Flight 1427 to Washington D.C.is now boarding at Gate C22.Please have your boarding passes ready.’
‘That’s us,’ Ella said.‘Finally.’
Ripley stood up and smoothed her boarding pass on her jacket.‘Come on.Another hour in this place and I think I’ll grow scales.’
As they headed towards the gate, Ella’s brain, still buzzing from the adrenaline and the sheer, unadulterated weirdness of the past few days, decided to perform a completely unsolicited, rather bizarre, act of cognitive association.Two seemingly unrelated data points collided in her head.
She grabbed Ripley’s arm.‘Mia, stop.’
Ripley froze.‘What?Didn’t you hear what I just said?’
‘R.L.Stine.’