Page 41 of Going for Three

Even though little currents of excitement rushed through me, I kept my composure. He was wearing a pair of Adidas joggers, a wife beater, and slides. I tried my best not to look at his dick print.

Folding my arms over my chest, I said, “Why didn’t you use your key?”

“I grabbed the wrong key ring. I need to put up the crib.”

I tried not to entertain childish ideologies like destiny and divine timing because then my guard would be down. Things could go either way as far as I knew.

“That’s the only reason I’m letting you in here,” I admitted before taking a step back to allow him inside of my condo.

He smiled with a wink as he casually strolled past me, carrying a toolbox. I sighed in relief, realizing that was probably why I was struggling so bad. I didn’t even think about the necessary tools. He stood off to the side, waiting for me to lead the way. I didn’t need to turn around to know his eyes were likely glued to my ass. The most annoying thing was how giddy that made me feel.

When we entered the bedroom, I went to sit on the bed while he stood over the mess I’d made in the middle of the floor.

“You were trying to put it together?”

I shrugged nonchalantly. “Wasn’t sure you would.”

There was a little twitch in his jaw when he glared at me. “Just because I had a moment of doubt doesn’t mean I will neglect my responsibilities as a father.”

I stared down at my manicure so I wouldn’t have to look at him. “Well, how am I supposed to know that, and so, you are doubting us?”

He sat his toolbox down then turned toward me. “Not the way you’re probably thinking. Without a doubt I can sit here and say you are the woman for me, Charmony.”

I absentmindedly began to rub my belly. He watched me intently. His hands flexed as if he were trying to stop himself from reaching out before turning his attention to the unorganized crib pieces. I swallowed when he got down on the floor. His muscles flexed as he began organizing things based on what he was reading on the instructions.

After a minute of silence, he said, “I know you said you don’t have anything to say, but I do, so just listen. I have never hadsomeone love me the way you do, Charmony. For a long time I didn’t feel like I deserved to have you but letting you go was never an option. I started to believe I could be the man you deserve when the voices started to get too loud again. I’m so tired of always being in competition with my father. No matter what I do, the world has to do a side by side comparison.”

I wanted to reassure him that wasn’t how I felt but decided to keep quiet. There was nothing for me to prove. I might’ve been hesitant at first, but he’d proven why it was wise to be cautious.

“I don’t want to do this life without you and our son.”

“I won’t keep him from you, Kianis,” I blurted out.

His eyes shot to my face. He frowned. “That’s good to know but I’m saying I still want to be a family, something I was never going to have with Breeland because she’s nothing like you. Where the world says you’re just a pretty face, I see a hardworking woman, a woman who shows up no matter what anyone says or thinks. I see a woman who would give the clothes off her back to someone in need. I see a gentle and sweet soul buried beneath eye shadow palettes and high ponytails. A God-fearing, compassionate, and praying woman who’ll take her tears to God and expect gold in return.”

I rolled my eyes and giggled as a distraction. It took all my effort not to let his words take root in my soul again.

“You ain’t have to say all of that now.”

“I just want to make sure you understand what I’m saying. I was distant because I was doubting myself, not you.”

“Distance that hurt me.”

“Is there anything I can do to make it better?”

I shrugged. “Maybe, but not right now. I lost a little trust in you, Kianis. What they say about trust is true. It takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair. You can’t ice me out anytime you need to clear your head. I depend on you.”

He nodded his head. “You’re right. It won’t happen again.”

Why did he have to agree so easily? I allowed my eyes to drift away from the worry lines crinkling his forehead because it made me want to reach for him and use my thumb to smooth his skin until it was flawless before planting a lingering kiss right in the center.

“I love you without a doubt, but not knowing if I can trust you, is a red flag.” I glanced down at my bulging belly. “Especially when everything is about to change. Do you even really want this? Or are you trying to do the right thing?”

“I hate that I even gave you a reason to doubt me. I didn’t put so much effort into you for nothing, Charm. I absolutely want this.” He waved his hands around as if I didn’t understand what he was saying. “I want you more than anything else.”

He paused his assembling as his hands began to shake. The silence was deafening. I could hear my heartbeat flooding my ears.

After a few minutes of silence, he dropped the tools in his hands and crossed the room in an instant. He snatched me up and wrapped his arms around my waist. “I can’t live without you, Charm. There are a lot of things about me I wish I could change but my love for you isn’t one of them.

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