Page 87 of Dreams and Desires

Juniper

After the holidays wind down and all the festive stuff fades away, Jacob and I end up hanging out at his new apartment. We just finished eating and the dishes are still scattered across the table between us. Neither of us are rushing to clean them up yet. That’s the beauty of living independently.

Jacob leans back in his chair, his eyes serious as he looks at me. “Juniper,” he starts, “you’ve done so much for me. More than I could ever thank you for.”

I shake my head, brushing off his words. “Jacob, you’re my brother. Of course, I’m going to be there for you. That’s what family does.”

He smiles a little, but there’s a sadness in his eyes. “I know. And I’m really grateful for that. But Juniper, it’s time for you to start living your own life, not just mine. You’ve been putting everything on hold for me, and you deserve so much more than that.”

I open my mouth to argue, to tell him that taking care of him is the most important thing, but he holds up a hand to stop me.

“No, listen,” he says gently. “I can take care of myself now. I’m getting stronger every day, and I’m figuring things out. But you’ve been stuck, and I hate seeing you like this. You need to live your life to the fullest, Juniper. You need to find your own happiness.”

His words hit me like a wave. I hadn’t realized how much I’ve been holding back, how much of myself I’ve sacrificed, trying to make sure Jacob is okay. It’s not that I regret it—not for a second—but hearing him say it out loud makes me realize that maybe, just maybe, it’s time for me to take a step forward.

“But what if something happens?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper. “What if you need me?”

He reaches across the table, taking my hands in his. “If I need you, I’ll call. I promise. But you can’t keep living in fear of what might happen. You need to start thinking about what could happen for you—for your future and your dreams. You deserve to be happy, Juniper.”

Tears well up in my eyes as I look at him, my little brother, who has grown up so much in such a short time. He’s been through so much, but here he is, stronger, braver, and urging me to live my life.

“You’ve always been there for me,” he continues. “But now it’s time for you to be there for yourself. Go out, do the things you’ve always wanted to do, and be with the people who make you happy. Don’t let my problems hold you back anymore.”

I nod, tears spilling down my cheeks. “I just… I worry about you, Jacob. I can’t help it.”

“I know,” he says, squeezing my hands.“And I love you for it. But you don’t need to worry anymore. I’m going to be okay. And I want you to be okay too. I want you to be more than okay—I want you to be happy.”

I pull my hands from his and wipe at my eyes, laughing softly. “When did you get so wise?”

He chuckles, his smile finally reaching his eyes. “I had a pretty great sister to learn from.”

I reach out and hug him tightly, feeling the warmth of his embrace, the strength in his arms. It’s different now—he’s not just my little brother anymore. He’s someone who has faced the worst and come out the other side. And now, he’s giving me the strength to do the same.

As I pull back, I look him in the eye and nod. “Okay, Jacob. I’ll try. I’ll start living my life again.”

“Good,” he breathes, relief loosening his shoulders. “That’s all I wanted. Just promise you won’t hold back anymore. Chase what you want, Juniper. You deserve it.”

“I promise,” I whisper.

We sit in silence for a moment, the conversation lingering between us. I can see the relief in Jacob’s eyes, but there’s also something else—something he’s holding back.

“Jacob,” I start, choosing my words carefully, “how are things with Dominique?”

His expression changes, and a flicker of pain crosses his face. “I see her every time I go for a checkup at the hospital. She’s always there, looking miserable. She’s divorcing Brian, you know. It’s been rough on her.”

I nod, understanding. “I know what she did was terrible, Jacob. But she’s not the same person she was back then. She was a kid, confused and jealous, and she made a huge mistake. But she’s changed. And I think... I think she still loves you.”

Jacob studies his hands. “I want to hate her for what she did,” he mutters, voice paper-thin. “But every time I see her… all the good memories crash back. Damn it, Juniper—I think I still love her.”

“Then maybe it’s time to let go of the past,” I suggest gently. “Forgiving her doesn’t mean forgetting what happened. It means acknowledging that she’s grown, that she regrets what she did. And it means giving yourself a chance to heal, too.”

Jacob has been quiet for a long time, his gaze distant. “I’ll try,” he finally says. “I’ll try, because... because I still love her, too.”

I squeezed his hand, offering him a small, understanding smile. “That’s all anyone can ask, Jacob. Just try.”

As I leave his apartment that night, I feel lighter, freer than I have in a long time. Jacob is right. It’s time for me to start living again, to stop holding back. For so long, I’ve been living in the shadow of the past, in fear of what might go wrong. But now, with Jacob’s blessing and the understanding that we’re both trying to move forward, I feel like I can finally start moving forward too.

Epilogue

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