Page 211 of Never Tell Lies

I sat with Natalie and Ryan, listening to their chatter as they ate dinner. I didn’t eat. My stomach was an overturned bag of nerves and with an hour to spare, I went to put my suit of armour on. The Harrods box lay on my bed. I didn’t debate wearing it. It was just a dress. I knew what it meant to him, to give me a dress again after kissing another man in the last one he’d given to me. It was right that I wear it tonight.

The dress fit me perfectly of course and the shoes were comfortable, despite their height. My hair I left down and free.

When I was ready, I stepped out of my cottage and into the cool dusk air. I wasn’t surprised to see Elliot waiting for me next to the Rolls.

“Happy Birthday, Miss.” He offered me a hint of a smile but I couldn’t muster one in return. Images of Adam laying in his bathroom with a broken neck coursed through my mind.

“Thank you Elliot,” I said, keeping my voice as steady as possible. “I’ll be taking my friend’s car tonight. You can follow me.” It didn’t escape me how much I’d just sounded like Alfie. I didn’t want to sit in a car with Elliot. Had he been a part of stealing my birth control? Maybe, but I was past caring now. Without giving him a chance to argue, I climbed into Keira’s mini and pulled away, Elliot hot on my tail.

Harrington House had never seemed more imposing than it did tonight. I felt disconnected. My heart pounded but I felt nothing. My mind no longer whirled as it had for weeks and months. It was in a static limbo, refusing to acknowledge what was about to happen.

Alfie…

I parked up and switched the engine off, the silence suddenly engulfing me. I slumped onto the steering wheel, my forehead resting on Keira’s fluffy pink wheel cover. My eyes squeezed tight.I will not cry. I will not break.If I had a single chink in my armour, Alfie would find his way in and I could no longer trust him to be a good man once he was inside. I jumped when someone tapped on my window.Elliot.

“Are you alright, Miss?” ‘I should have broken his neck…’Could he really have done that? It felt insane. These things just didn’t happen to small town girls like me. Elliot had always treated me with kindness, even if he had been a little gruff in the beginning. But as I looked at him, at the hardened calluses on his knuckles, the scar on his neck, the gun that I knew was hidden on him somewhere, I realised how stupid I had been.

Some day, in the future, I was going to sit in front of a therapist who would tell me that my habit of putting my trust inmen who didn’t deserve it was a remnant of my abandonment issues left over by my father. One day, a therapist would tell me I needed to get a grip. But that wasn’t today. Today was my birthday and all I wanted was Alfie, which only told me that I was too naive, too delusional, to be ready to hear what a therapist had to say.

I gave Elliot a short nod and forced a smile as I stepped out of the car.

“You look lovely tonight.” Of course I did. Alfie would never put me in anything that was less than stunning.

“Thank you, Elliot,” I said, wondering if those would be the last words I ever spoke to him. Another pang twisted in my gut—one of pain and fear. I fell into step beside him as we walked towards the house. I couldn’t help but glance down at his hands as we walked, hands which I was almost certain had murdered someone this week. It was a surreal thought, one I couldn’t process right now because I realised where Elliot was taking me.

We had arrived on the back patio that overlooked the sloping lawn, and farther, the smattering of woodland. I could just make out the break in the trees that I had stepped through so many times, both in reality and in my imagination.

“He’s waiting for you in your garden.” I wanted to turn and run.I can’t do this.But I had no choice. Wherever I ran,hewould follow. I felt Elliot’s heavy hand on my shoulder and turned to see him smiling at me, truly smiling, like a proud father on his child’s wedding day. “I’m glad you’re in his life, Miss.”

Elliot left me then and, with deep trepidation, I stepped off the patio and walked down the back lawn. I made my way to the break in the trees, to the broken steps I knew so well. Tonight, those steps were lined with fire lights. A white, sash-spun archway served as a door. I stepped through the archway and down the broken steps, glad of the lights to guide my waydown as the ever-growing night set in. The lights glinted at me like motorway cat’s-eyes, leading me towards an impending car crash.

I stepped into the garden, and my breath stammered in my chest. The overgrown, damaged space had somehow been made beautiful. Lights had been spun around every tree trunk and hung from the branches to mimic the delicate hanging blossoms of a wisteria tree. In the centre, on a raised grass and honeysuckle bed, sat an elegant dining table for two.

My gaze landed on Alfie and the reaction in my body was visceral. I felt himeverywhere. He stood, his eyes lighting up as he took in the dress on my body. The corners of his mouth lifted in the barest hint of a smile. He was getting better at sharing his smiles. That should have warmed my heart. Instead, it just twisted my gut.

Alfie…

I stepped onto the earthy bed and he was there to meet me. I split down the middle as he reached for me, half of me wanting to runfrom, the other half wanting to runto. I decided to allow myself this touch. My eyes fluttered closed as his hand slipped into my hair, and when his lips found mine my knees felt like they might buckle.

“Thank you for wearing the dress,” he murmured against my mouth. I didn’t trust myself to speak, so I just nodded. He stepped around me, his hand coming to my waist as he guided me into my chair. I sat, grateful that I no longer had to depend on my legs to hold me up. He took his own seat in front of me, the corners of his mouth still lifted. His eyes seemed bright, almost happy. I picked up the glass of wine then paused, eyeing it. Should I be drinking alcohol right now?

“Non-alcoholic. I assure you it’s of the highest quality.” Non-alcoholic. Which secret of his was that serving? The one that hid why he didn’t like to drink or the one that hid what he had doneto me? I took a sip and found the taste peculiar. Money didn’t make everything taste better after all.

I looked around at the garden, drawing on it to soothe me.

“Do you like it?” He watched me, searching for my reaction. I knew he could see that something wasn’t quite right.

“Of course I do, but you knew that I would.” I didn’t trust it. I didn’t trust the lights in the trees or the honeysuckle under my feet. It felt like an illusion of sweetness but I had seen behind the curtain now and could no longer fool myself into believing anything. “Thank you for doing this for me. Or rather, thank you for paying someone to do this for me.”

He gave me a wry smile. “You’re welcome. Dinner will be along shortly.”

I nodded, knowing that likely neither of us would be eating that dinner. I could feel him dissecting me. He knew I wasn’t okay, just as I knew he wasn’t going to outright ask me what was wrong. He was too smart. He would play detective first.

“How’s Keira? Did you two mend your fences?”There we go.

“Yes, all mended.”

“Good, I’m glad.”Are you?I didn’t know anymore. I couldn’t help but remember Alfie whispering to me when I was in the bath after Adam had hurt me, talking to me about Keira.‘You don’t need to be attached at the hip, especially if she isn’t supportive of your choices.’And I had agreed with him. It sickened me.Isickened me.

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