Page 23 of Never Tell Lies

Natalie hadn't had a serious relationship since Ryan was born. It had taken a while for her to confess that Ryan had been the result of an out-of-character one night stand with a handsome but nameless stranger at a party in Dublin. He’d disappeared into the night, never to be seen again. By the time she found out she was pregnant, she had no way of tracking him down.

“Who is it?”

"One of the supply teachers at work. He's taking me out for lunch."

"What's he like?"

"Easy on the eye. Other than that I'm not sure yet. It's been forever since I went on a date." She was nervous, I could see it in her eyes. After you'd been repeatedly dumped on by the men in your life, inviting another one into it probably seemed like a stupid risk to take. She managed just fine without a man, but she was lonely. I was glad she was giving someone a chance.

"Have the lobster," I told her, because obviously I was the expert on men and dating.

"Why? I hate seafood." Natalie couldn't even stand it being in the house and she flatly refused to go near the fish aisle in the supermarket.

"I know, but that's just what people say when someone else is picking up the bill."

"And who says I'm gonna let him pick up the bill?"

"Whatever. You should still have the lobster, or the steak. You should have the steak."

"We'll see.” She was quiet for a moment. “I wish I didn’t feel so guilty about moving onto a new guy.”

“Because of Ryan's father?”

She nodded. “I’ve been trying again to find him even though I know it’s pointless. What kind of a woman doesn’t even know the name of her child's father? I just search and searchthrough my friends’ social media, hoping his face will turn up somewhere.” She picked at a loose thread in the faded blue duvet cover.

I slipped my hand over hers. “You’ve tried your best to find him. Short of typing ‘hot Irish dude’ into Google I don’t know what more you can do.”

“You’re right, I know you are. I just hate that Ryan has to go without a father because of my carelessness.” She sighed in frustration. “If I hadn’t drank so much I’d probably be able to remember his name.”

“What do you remember?” Even though she’d told me a hundred times, I liked the look she got on her face when she talked about Ryan’s father.

“That he was handsome and he made me laugh. He was sweet.” She smiled to herself and I stayed silent, letting her be with her thoughts for a moment. “I just wish—” she began but was interrupted by a half-asleep Ryan pushing open the bedroom door. I quickly wiped all traces of our conversation from my face and gave my nephew a smile.

"You ought to be in bed, young man."

"In a minute," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes and climbing into bed between me and his mother. Natalie and I shared a smile. ‘In a minute’was his new thing, though I don't think he really grasped the concept of ‘a minute’as his minutes often turned into an hour.

"What're you two talking about?" He nuzzled under his mum’s arm and I shuffled up to make room for him. He had hisSpidermanpajamas on, half of them anyway. The t-shirt he'd taken off.

"I just had a rubbish day at work, that’s all."

Natalie gave me a small, grateful smile for covering.

"What happened? Did you make a bad garden?"

It made me smile that that's what he thought my job was. "No, sweetie. I was maybe going to get to make a garden but I don't think I am anymore." I figured I had literally kissed my shot at that project goodbye.

Natalie frowned at me over his head but I gave her a look that said I'd fill her in another time.

"Are you sad?"

"A bit."

"Why?" He looked at me in that way children do when they need you to explain a concept that's so simple to adults but completely new to them.

"You know how grown-ups have jobs? Well, if they can't work in the job they want, it can make them very unhappy, and I work in an office with a computer but what I want is to work outside in the dirt."

"Hmmm…well…" His face screwed up to comedic effect as he thought hard. "You could be a gravedigger. They work outside," he announced proudly.

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