Page 4 of Falling Hard

The blood ran down my thigh and just for a few brief moments, peace followed, and for the first time in days, I felt like perhaps I could keep living because I had gotten the demon out. But I also knew the pattern. Right now, I thought the demon was out but come tomorrow, the headache from the pain would be all-consuming, and the injuries would be physically crippling. An underlying thought weaved through my mind. There was a high chance that one day, an infection would kill me from this.

I knew I had disappointed the boys.

Dad

Grit.

Maiden.

Yet at this moment, it was as if I were high on drugs, the demons no longer scratching at my thoughts, and I could just enjoy the peace within my mind. Without caring about the blood dripping down my thigh, I just bathed in the peace. For once, my mind was quiet. The thoughts and demons weren’t there because they had won.

Sometimes, you have to live in the moment, and sometimes, that moment makes you wish you weren’t living at all.

* * *

I putthe final stroke of my eyeshadow on, and with a quick spray of my perfume, I was good to go. My eyes went to the bathroom door, and guilt consumed me along with shame. Still, I pushed myself away from the dresser. I couldn’t turn time back. I couldn’t undo what I did last night. All I could do was try to do better today.

I threaded my arms through my jacket and glanced in the mirror. The dress was mid-length, covering everything that needed to be covered, and by that, I meant evidence of last night. If one of the brothers knew… Tears sprang to my eyes.Fuck it, Emmie, don’t cry!

I blinked them back and opened my bedroom door. The smell of tobacco, mixed with the normal hint of weed, flooded the air, but the main scent was that of the summer night. It nearly overpowered the club’s trademark scent.

I headed down the passage and waited a moment. I knew a party was in full swing downstairs, and I was expected to show my face, and I would on my way out.

My mind began to twist to darkness as the monster slowly crept in, scratching at the sides of my mind, wanting attention, but I fought hard, harder than usual, to make sure it didn’t win. I quickly walked out into the entertaining room. To my surprise, a few death looks were being shot in Hammer’s or, as I call him, Dad’s direction.

I knew the bare minimum details of tonight’s club party because I didn’t press for answers to questions I had no right in asking. To be honest, I really didn’t care to know club details, anyway. All I knew was Ryder had taken a rank in the chapter, and this was his official party.

I felt it before I’d moved another inch. Dad stared at me intensely, causing my skin to prickle, and panic started to take over.Would he find out what I did? Shaking my head, I continued forward.

“Emmie!”

I froze, and not in a good way. I wanted to make it out of there. I wanted to get free before Dad saw it. He always saw it, no matter how much I hid it. That was why I was escaping for the night, to recover in private.

I turned around and forced an easygoing smile onto my face. Dad was the chapter president, a man of force, and a man of his word.

“Ryder, you met our girl, Emmie?” Dad tried to pretend like everything was fine between him and me, but even I could tell he was a little uneasy being so close to me, guilt briefly flashing in his eyes that only I could see.

My eyes glanced at the man sitting in the booth next to Dad. His eyes were on me, and it made me uncomfortable. I knew it was my paranoia, but I felt like he could see straight into my soul, and if he saw how tainted my soul was… That would likely scare any sane person.

“If you need anything, Emmie is your girl.” Dad grinned, and then his eyes froze on me.

Oh, shit. I knew that look.

“I was just leaving, so it was lovely to meet you Ryder but—” My words were cut short as I tried to back away slowly, but it was too late.

Dad was on his feet, gripping my wrist and pulling me back toward the booth. He stood at his full six-foot height, completely towering over me, and gave me a look.

“I think you and I need to talk,” he said sternly. “Maiden, Grit, here now,” he shouted across the room, his voice louder than the music.

Fuck.

I glanced over my shoulder and saw the two put down their beers and head toward me. My anxiety grew the closer they got.

“Dad, don’t do this,” I said each word firmly and used his biker name, but he gave me a disappointed expression.

“Consequences, Emmie. That’s what happens when you fuck around behind my back.”

I caught Ryder’s expression, and I knew how he’d just take that great wording on Dad’s part.

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