Page 35 of Descent

“No. You do not get to demandanythingor deserve answers you haven’t earned. Simply know that I am in control, that I know what is best for you.”

Taken aback, I fumble for a response, trying desperately not to wince or cover my face at the onslaught. How does she do that? Why am I shaking?

Terror drills into my sternum, taking my breath away. How does she make me feel such utter panic?

“S-sorry. Please forgive me. I forget myself.”

“Sorry, indeed. Perhaps you need to be reminded of how things work around here.”

“No, I apologize for even asking. I know you’ll tell me what I need to know when I need to know it.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Cover your ears!Artemis’s voice shrieks in my mind, but I react too late.

Her lips move, a single word. Something like a concussion detonating underwater claps in my brain, against my ears.

Ananke’s displeasure batters my senses, her rage and disappointment stabbing through me with physical pain. Her raised hand never strikes, but I feel the blow a thousand times over.

“Ungrateful cunt! I have given you everything. Returned you to life where you would have suffocated in your grief, succumbed to your injuries. I am trying to set the world right, balance the scales of the wicked and the righteous. And all you can do is pout. Gripe.Whine.”

Wrath showers down around me, a palpable deluge of red-hot needles in my skin.

And through it all, I cannot remember why she’s angry. What did I do?

I must have deserved this.

Fog creeps across the pathways, blinding me to where I’ve been, what I’ve said and done. The only certainty aside from knowing I failed my mistress, is the fact that she has done this to me before. An instinct similar to my reflexes in the field tellsme that I’m fractured, damaged. Not by injury but definitely by trauma.

Yet none of it matters.

Pain and shame take center stage and all I want to do is make them go away.

“I’m sorry. It’s just so hard sometimes. The memories…the missing pieces.”

“Which is exactly why you should trust me. I saved your life, I promised you that I would do everything I could to heal your mind. You have to give it time. My doctors are hard at work as we speak. Like you should be.”

I open my mouth to ask another question, but she snaps her fingers in warning. Then she moves her lips again, only this time, a fog settles over the fear and debilitating remorse.

“No more doubts. Remember, Circe,the sands trickle faster in the sunlight.” The words echo in my head, rattling around empty space. “Back to your baseline, darling.”

I nod, my eyes watering, blurring my vision. “Yes, mistress.”

“That’s my girl.” And I suddenly feel elated, relieved. “Now, go train with our new weapon. I have so much work for the two of you.”

“Thank you, Ananke.” I take a breath, closing my eyes.

An instant later, I can’t remember why I felt relieved, why I felt scared. What were we just talking about?

“Finish your meal, dear.”

I start to answer, glancing up from my seat at the table. Blinking a few times, I swallow, my throat dry. The food is cold, like I’ve been sitting there for a long time. My coffee is stale.

This has happened before. I’m not sure when, but I am sure it has…

A tremor of frustration and apprehension drives me to my feet, into my closet. Slipping on a sports bra and a formfittingpair of leggings, I race toward the door, downstairs and to the courtyard below.

I need to let loose.

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